Where There's a Will
by onesummer'sday10
Summary: Dean's mother and little brother died in the fire all those years ago. Now Dean lives with his father who abuses him, and he resorts to a dangerous outlet to escape the pain. Will things ever get better? AU and rated M just to be safe!
1. Chapter 1

First fanfic! Good? Bad? Keep going? Let me know! :3

WHERE THERE'S A WILL

The sun filtered in bleakly through the faded curtains of yet another run down motel room. Dean was lying on his back staring dejectedly at the ceiling. His head felt heavy on the lumpy pillow as he rubbed his temples absent mindedly. There hadn't been any leads in weeks and no school due to summer vacation. It was strange not having to get up before the sun, going after God knows what and he took advantage of this opportunity to sit and wallow in self pity without his father's stern face staring back at him.

Years of traveling across the country killing every evil thing in sight to feed his father's sick obsession had taken an emotional toll on the fair-haired teen. And now with no hunts or school to keep him busy, Dean had too much free time to reflect on his life.

Dean loved his father. Truly, he did. He did his best to please him, to follow his orders without question, to be a son his father could be proud of. But he could never be good enough. Now with this extra time to reflect, the all too vivid memories of black eyes, bruised ribs, and broken bones wouldn't let him forget this fact. A tear slid unchecked down his face.

Rustling from the bed next to his warned Dean that he didn't have much time left to do what he had to do, what he needed to do to get through another day. He quickly darted his eyes from his duffle bag on the floor to his father's sleeping form. It was rare that his father, John, would sleep in and Dean was going to take full advantage of that.

Dean's back was still painfully tender from the last time he needed to be "taught a lesson", and he tried to sit up as quietly as he could, biting down on his fist to keep from groaning at the sharp pain radiating down his spine. Once he was sitting up, he stood from the bed slowly and shuffled over to his duffle bag, hands trembling slightly at the prospect of being able to do what he had been dying to do for the past several days. As soon as his hand found what he was looking for he let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. Grabbing a few other things he spared one last glance at his father before quietly slipping inside the dingy bathroom, shutting the door behind him with a soft click.

He wasted no time as he slid down the now closed door, simultaneously rolling up the sleeve to his sleep shirt. As he stared down at the blade he saw all of his failures, all of the hate that his father not only had toward him, but the hate Dean felt toward himself. He saw the fire, that terrible fire, ripping away his only chance at a normal life. He saw his mother's warm smile as she read to him, telling Dean that she loved him. He saw his baby brother's soulful eyes.

His head was pounding as he finally lowered the sharp edge to his skin. The air in the bathroom was thick and suffocating, pressing down on him, crushing him as the blade bit at his skin. _Deeper, just a bit deeper… just. _A stream of dark crimson fled from the blade, a striking contrast against the delicate cream of his skin. The pounding in his head finally was gone and he felt almost weightless as he sat there dazed. Hearing noise coming from the room, Dean quickly shot up, much to the disapproval of his back, as he turned the shower on.

Stripping out of his clothes he took a second to stare at himself with a practiced clinical detachment in the slowly fogging mirror. Dean hadn't been the only one with extra time on his hands. Yellowing bruises from a few weeks ago peppered across his ribs and turning, he could see the deep purple of the most recent addition cutting across his back. As part of his latest punishment, the 16 year old hadn't eaten in days. Being slim to begin with, the food ban in conjunction with intense training sessions caused his hip bones to protrude sharply. He rubbed a hand down his flat stomach as it growled savagely. Suddenly noticing the blood still running down his arm, he stepped into the shower and let the steamy spray wash away his transgression.

Loud banging on the bathroom door quickened his pace as he worked up a frothy lather all over his body, relishing the stinging coming from the fresh cut. After he had rinsed and dried himself off, he put on his clothes and quickly surveyed the bathroom to ensure he was leaving nothing behind.

When he opened the door he was startled to see his father's face looking down darkly at him.

"_Move,_" was the deep command rumbling from John's chest.

Not complying quickly enough for his taste, John forcefully grabbed Dean's arm and threw the frightened teen into the room before stomping into the bathroom and slamming the door behind him. Not long after that, the sound of the shower running cut through the suddenly tense silence of the motel room.

Dean, shaking, slowly rose from the ground and sat on the edge of his bed. Scooting himself back until he was leaning against the headboard, he clutched his knees tightly to his chest as he silently rocked back and forth.

Today would be a long day.


	2. Chapter 2

Woot for chapter 2! Thanks to all who reviewed! Sorry if there are any mistakes/spelling errors :3

Oh, and disclaimer!: I own nothing :D

* * *

WHERE THERE'S A WILL (Ch. 2)

It was a few weeks after the shower incident, and school was just around the corner. Dean was finally allowed to eat again, but was still a bit shaky on his feet. John, in all of his orneriness, hadn't let Dean eat for a full week and a half. Dean still somehow managed to get scraps of food here and there, but was overjoyed that the food ban had finally been lifted. He hadn't cut in a couple of days, but was holding up well. It wasn't something he needed to do every day, only on the days when it hurt too much to breathe, to even think about trying to make it through another day.

Yeah, he was okay.

Dean would be a sophomore this year, not that he particularly cared at the moment. He was just grateful to have a place to be for the day that was away from his father. They were still staying at the same run down motel, and had just finished a simple salt and burn the other day (the most action they'd had in weeks), and John was still a bit on edge. Dean prayed that the salt and burn would be a better outlet for John's belligerence rather than beating him black and blue, but to no avail: he was now the miserable owner of a busted lip and tender ribs. With school being so close to starting, they really couldn't take another job anyway. Or at least Dean couldn't. Now John would have to be more careful that any bruise or mark acquired by Dean, whatever the source, could be easily hidden. Surely a teacher would notice if Dean came back to school every Monday with a new injury. John decided to rent a house, much to Dean's surprise, and they were moving in today.

A thirty-minute drive through a run down part of town sitting shot gun in his father's beloved impala, landed Dean in front of a shabby and secluded two-story house. The house had white paneling (or, at least what looked like it _used_ to be white) running horizontally about the house, with dark red brick siding along its lower half. The yard was overrun with massive weeds, and looked like it could use a mowing. The unkempt shrubbery that sat plump alongside the front walk wasn't much better off. The door was painted a glossy black, peeling in some places, and the windows had white shutters. The front porch was wide and appeared to wrap around the house on one side. Dean could just make out the ceiling fan that hung over the porch with its drooping blades. He figured with some TLC, the house could be quite pleasant. He took notice of the dark green vines that crept up the side of the house. Well, _a lot_ of TLC. But it had character, and was ten times better than shacking up in some crap motel room.

"Get out of the car!" John barked brusquely from the sidewalk, breaking Dean from his reverie. It was obvious that this wasn't the first time John had spoken, so Dean quickly fumbled out of the car and onto the sidewalk next to his father.

"Get your crap and go upstairs. Your room is at the end of the hall to the left," John muttered before shoving Dean's bag hard into his chest.

_My own room?_ Dean thought to himself as he readjusted his bag in his arms and faced the disheveled house with curiosity.

* * *

Upon stepping through to front door, Dean was instantly greeted by the overwhelming dank smell of mold and dust. It took his eyes a second to adjust to the dimness of the room. Blinking his eyes a few times, he could now see the few scanty pieces of furniture that barely filled the large space. _Must have come with the house. _The stairs were straight ahead of him from his position by the front door and beyond the living room to the far right was the kitchen. Dean wanted to look around the first floor a bit more, but decided against it as he felt his father coming up behind him. He headed straight for the stairs, holding on tightly to the railing. Still being a bit weak, he didn't trust his legs and didn't want to fall. Once upstairs, Dean turned to the left and walked down the hall, all the way to the end as John had instructed. The door opened with a creak.

Inside the room was an old, stained mattress on top of a wooden bedstead. Dean placed his bag on the bed and sank down wearily. He heard heavy footsteps approaching and his stomach twisted painfully. John appeared in the doorway.

"I'm gonna be gone for a couple of hours. Make your worthless self useful for once and clean this dump up. This place better be clean by the time I get back, understand?" John's harsh voice was cold and menacing.

"Y-yes, sir."

And with that, John turned and left the room. A few seconds later, the front door slammed shut.

Dean felt he could finally breathe and he took a deep breath to collect himself. After a few minutes, he stood and made his way back down the stairs. He figured that he might as well start off on the part of the house John would see first upon walking in. He stepped into the kitchen and began to rummage the cabinets for cleaning supplies. Once Dean had found an old sponge and some spray cleaner, he set to work.

It took Dean nearly three hours to scrub through all of the dirt and debris downstairs alone. His back and knees ached at the thought of still having to do the upstairs. _I just need a break, a quick break and I'll get started on the upstairs. _Dean eyed the threadbare couch. _Just a quick break._

It was completely dark outside when Dean was startled awake in his position on the couch, by the sound of the impala's engine. Before he could get his sleep fogged brain to function, John was already turning his keys in the door to come inside. John flicked on the light switch that was near the front door, and Dean squinted as the harsh light illuminated the large room.

Without much more than a cold glance in Dean's direction, John merely walked around the downstairs as if inspecting, and Dean could tell by the way he swayed and stumbled that he was drunk.

"Huh. So the worthless piece o' crap actually did what I asked him." John's words slurred a bit at the end. He then turned to go up the stairs. The stairs that led up to the second floor. The part of the house Dean hadn't gotten to.

_Oh, God._

It was five painful minutes before Dean heard John coming back down the stairs. By this time, Dean was standing behind the couch, closer to the kitchen. He kept his head down as his heart slammed painfully in his chest. He could feel John's dark presence in the room.

After what felt like a couple of hours with no noise other than John's heavy breathing, Dean finally had to look up. John's expression was eerily peaceful. His eyes were slightly glazed over, and he looked like he needed a shower.

"The upstairs isn't clean," John said camly. All Dean could do was stand there, shaking.

"I thought I told you that I wanted this entire house clean by the time I got back." Still the same eerie calm, and still nothing from Dean. John slowly started to cross the room until he was only a few feet in front of the couch. As John was walking, Dean saw that John held a belt behind his back, and he instantly paled. _No._

With three quick steps, John closed the gap between himself and his son, and before Dean even knew what was happening, John cracked down the belt in a dark blur across Dean's arm. It took a second for the white hot pain to register, and by that time John had already hit Dean three more times.

"TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT!" All the calm now gone from John's voice. Dean quickly obeyed. Before the shirt even touched the ground, John was back on him again. Dean fell to the ground in agony as John began to slice the belt through the air and onto Dean's back with a sickening smack.

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! Again and again and again. Dean could feel his grip on consciousness start to loosen as he now lay on his side in the fetal position. He bit back his screams as best he could, not wanting to anger John more, but a few whimpers still managed to come out.

"YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!" John had now forgone the belt in favor of using his boot instead. His boot dug deeply into Dean's stomach, making the teen gag. Little black dots started to fill his line of vision.

"P-please," Dean whispered.

One sharp blow to the head, and Dean was submerged into darkenss.

* * *

**TBC**

A/N: I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Again, sorry for any mistakes. It might be a while before I can update again since I've got a few tests and papers coming up soon, but no worries! Check back frequently; I might be able to have a new chapter up sooner than I'm thinking. A big thank you to all who reviewed! More reviews would be greatly appreciated :D


	3. Chapter 3

New chapter! See I told you I might be able to post a new chapter sooner than I thought :D Don't worry, Cas shows up soon, just wanted to have a solid background story of Dean's home-life/life in general before I introduced the other main character :D Sorry for any spelling errors or mistakes!

**Some background info**: It's already been stated, but Dean is 16 in this story and is about to start his sophomore year of high school (actually, now when I think about it he probably should be more like 15… eh).

**Disclaimer**: still own nothing!

Enjoy!

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WHERE THERE'S A WILL (Ch. 3)

Pain.

As Dean started to open his swollen eyes, that was all he could feel.

Pain.

And the more alert he became, the more he became aware of this pain. His head was throbbing mercilessly, and his stomach was agonizingly tender. Dean took shallow breaths as to not add to the torment that was slowly beginning to take over his slight body. His back was tight and felt as if he'd been burned. The ache in his arm felt bone deep as it pulsated in time with his throbbing head.

Dean tried to focus his bleary eyesight on the room as best he could; he was checking to see if John was anywhere nearby. Realizing with relief that he was the only one in the room, Dean gingerly began to rake his fingers over the spots that hurt the most. Nothing seemed broken or severely damaged. _Good._

As Dean lie there, he could hear the soft sound of birds chatting merrily outside. He could hear the low rumble of a car passing by, on its way to who knows where. He could hear the wind whisper through the trees.

If only he were a bird; he could stretch his wings and ascend toward the sky, toward heaven where his mother and brother were, the only heaven he ever wanted. If only he were the driver; he could drive away and never look back, all his cares thrown in the backseat as he blasted his favorite music, as he sang away his hurt. If only he were the wind, the wind that had the whole earth as its home. He would never be longing. He would never be alone. He wouldn't feel this…empty.

As delicately as possible, the blonde-haired teen picked himself off of the floor. He was still near the couch, so as soon as he was vertical he leaned heavily against it. Dean only rested there for a minute before slowly, _slowly_, making his way up the stairs to the small bathroom he'd vaguely remembered passing by on the way to his room yesterday. As he shuffled down the hall, he could hear the sound of snoring coming from John's room and involuntarily, Dean flinched. _Breathe, breathe._

He finally made it to the bathroom and after closing the door behind him once he was inside, went to stand in front of the grimy mirror to further assess his injuries.

His eyes were puffy and swollen, but not bruised like he had thought they would be. Thinking back hard to last night, he _did_ sort of remember waking up at some point crying. Gradually piecing the events of last night together, he figured he must have passed out again after he had cried himself out. In the short time he'd been awake, his father must have already left the room. Dean didn't remember seeing him, and if John had been in the room he would have heard Dean crying, and well… yeah he didn't want to think about that. Leaning a bit closer toward the mirror he noticed that other than the puffy eyes, he was already beginning to form a knot on the side of his head from John's unyielding boot. The bump was shaded a light purple, but was so near his hair line that it could go unnoticed if he held his head just right.

Dean proceeded to take off his shirt, hissing as the friction over his skin caused the burning sensation across his back to increase. The front was what he expected it to look like: deep bruising along his ribs and chest, the occasional extended bruise that indicated where John's belt had made contact. His arm wasn't so bad, just a long, dark purple blotch that spanned from just above his elbow and down through the middle of his forearm. Since he still had his shirt on when John had delivered the first excruciating blow, the damage was minimal. His back however, was another story.

Twisting into an uncomfortable position so that he could get a good look, Dean inhaled sharply as he saw the raw skin of his back. Since John had ordered him to take his shirt off shortly after the beginning of his beating, crisscrossing all across Dean's back were long, angry red slashes that were puckered, and by the looks of it, had at one point been bleeding lightly. Blotches of bruises here and there combined with the savage looking cuts made it look like some wild animal had attacked him. The cuts had already started to scab over, so it didn't seem like there was any big risk of infection. But damn. This was going to hurt for a while. Not even bothering to slip his shirt back on, Dean turned out of the bathroom to get a few things from his duffle bag that was still sitting on the bed in his room. Grabbing a long sleeve button up, jeans, boxers, soap and shampoo, along with a few medical supplies, Dean started to head back toward the bathroom. But before he completely left the room, he turned back and grabbed one more thing.

The only thing that could make him feel better.

The only thing that could make him _feel._

* * *

Upon returning to the bathroom, Dean closed and locked the door behind him. He took his time placing his things down in the bathroom. He knew that John, after last night's bender, wouldn't be up for a while.

Dean was going to start by cleaning his back with the antiseptic he'd found in his bag, but thought better of it and turned the shower on instead. He slowly stripped out of the rest of his clothes, his eyes not meeting the mirror again. He'd seen enough already. He stepped inside the shower.

The hot water ran over his head and down his body in a soothing race to his feet. His back was beginning to sting a bit more fiercely, but Dean blocked the pain out as he focused on lathering his hair.

He ran the pads of his fingers gently over his scalp, massaging his aching head while being careful to scrub lightly over the knot. He let the steamy spray wash over his head as he rinsed away the fragrant suds.

He let his mind wander as he picked up the blade.

He skimmed the edge of the blade harmlessly over the skin of his good arm. Up and down, back and forth, as if he were painting. Up and down, back and forth, up and down, back and forth. Slowly, lazily, the knife caressed his skin.

He stopped to hold the knife more securely. He placed the blade on the soft skin near the bend of his arm and began to press down. He slowly, slowly, dragged the sharp edge over his skin, pressing down more firmly as he went. It stung as he went deeper, but Dean didn't care. His head was thrown back in ecstasy, a small smile painting his face. It was frightening and beautiful at the same time. Standing there, naked, under the spray with his golden hair slicked back from the weight of the running water, he looked like a Greek statue. The sharp angle of his jaw gave his face a strong edge, his long eyelashes and the light sprinkling of freckles that danced across his cheeks softening that edge just a little. This scene, this terribly sad scene, only added to the almost painful beauty. Dean picked up the knife again and again in long, deep strokes. As the blood ran down his arm and combined with the water that splashed down his body, it made Dean feel fully cleansed. With the crimson streams of blood were all of the tears he couldn't shed. It was like by doing this, he was allowing his soul to cry. And how it wept. His legs sagged with the release, and he slowly sank down the side of the shower.

He only came back to his senses minutes later as the water started to turn cold. He stood, the ache of his stomach and ribs more prominent now after sitting still for so long, and soaped up the rest of his body, rinsed, and stepped out. Once he was dry he tended to the cuts on his arm and back, slowly got dressed, and left for his room. As he lie on the old mattress, he slipped into a dreamless sleep.

Dean didn't wake again for a long time.

* * *

**TBC**

A/N: Aww, poor Dean D: I hope you enjoyed the chapter! I know all of the chapters so far have been kind of short, but bare with me! I will try to make the next chapter longer. Like I said earlier, Cas will show up soon, be patient! :3 More reviews please! Let me know what you are thinking!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4! Wow I'm really just cranking them out lol. Sorry for any spelling errors or overall mistakes :3

**Disclaimer:** still own nothing!

Hope you like it!

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WHERE THERE'S A WILL (Ch.4)

It was now time for Dean to register at the local high school. Class would be starting in a little over a week and Dean was just a little apprehensive as he sat in the impala waiting for the school to break the overall monotony of the scorched landscape. It was a hot one today, but Dean still donned a long sleeve button up and heavy blue jeans. The various bruises and cuts all over his body were healing nicely, only the dark bruise on his left arm and the deep, self inflicted cuts that marred his right were still easily visible. Covering up wasn't something Dean even had to think about anymore, and being overheated was something that he was just… used to.

They finally reached the school after what seemed like forever, but was really only a ten minute drive. The school was a reasonably sized two-story building that stretched out length-wise across the large brownish-green lot. The sun blazed overhead and made everything appear to be wavering a bit. John stepped out of the car as soon as he cut the engine off, and Dean wasn't far behind. The breeze was light, blowing hot little puffs of air across Dean's face. The sky was a cloudless blue.

A classic, late summer day in Texas. Yee-haw.

They approached the large glass doors of the school and, John leading, walked into its heavily air-conditioned lobby. A small sign mounted on a plastic stand read: "Main Office" with an arrow underneath that pointed toward the left. So left they turned.

Going through another set of glass doors, they found themselves inside a quaint waiting area that lead off to a small hallway. Immediately to the left of the entrance into the waiting area were a small row of chairs. A large desk that supported copious amounts of papers and flyers was positioned in the far right corner of the space. On the cluttered walls were several posters from different universities all across the country. There were also a few "Just Say No to Drugs" and various abstinence posters scattered here and there.

Suddenly, a small lady with red curly hair that looked to be in her mid-forties came from a door that was over to the far left of the large desk on the opposite wall, that said "Copy Room" above it. She seemed startled by John's burly presence.

"_Sit," _John whispered harshly to Dean before approaching the small woman with, what Dean would describe as being, a creepy smile. Obviously, it only seemed creepy to him since the lady smiled back warmly in response.

"How can I help you today?" she said with a light southern accent.

"I'm here to register my…son, Dean Winchester, for school," was John's reply. Dean noticed how he paused before he said the word son and sunk a little further into the chair.

As the middle-aged woman conversed with Dean's father animatedly about what to sign and where, Dean noticed a noise coming from the copy room. All of a sudden, a dark haired teen that looked to be about Dean's age, poked his head around the door.

"Um, Mrs. Stover, I think something's wrong with the copy machine." His voice was soft and deep. Dean noticed the gravity of the other teens blue eyes as they shortly met his before looking at John and then back to, Mrs. Stover, again.

"Darn, that machine is always giving us grief. Okay, I'll be there in just a second."

The raven-haired teen nodded once before disappearing back into the adjacent room.

After a short amount of time, John was finally done registering Dean for school, and Mrs. Stover briefly explained to him that Dean could come to pick up his schedule and books in just a few days. She sent a genuine smile in Dean's direction before the two hunters turned to leave. Dean's cheeks flamed red as he kept his head ducked, walking behind his father.

* * *

A few days later, Dean found himself back inside the high school, waiting in a long line with other people that looked to be about his age. He was slowly inching his way toward the front of the line to get his schedule.

Loud laughter and talking filled Dean with a kind of loneliness that took his breath away.

Dean sighed.

From his line, Q-Z, he spotted the dark-haired teen from a few days ago. His expression seemed focused as he jumped from line to line, handing the staff that manned each line little slips of paper. As he started out toward Dean's line, he made eye contact with timid hunter just like the other day. Dean's heart raced as the other teen started walking straight toward him, and he ducked his head when he came to a stop right in front of him.

"Hey, I remember seeing you a few days ago in the office," the teen said warmly. Dean's head lifted just a bit at the kindness in his voice. "I'm Castiel Novak." Castiel reached out a hand.

"Uh… Dean. Winchester." He awkwardly shook Castiel's hand. It was cool and smooth in Dean's large grip.

"So, you're new to this area?" Intense blue orbs scanned Dean's face.

"Y-yeah. Just moved here." Short and sweet.

Castiel looked away from Dean for a moment to glance at Dean's progress in the line. Or well, _lack_ of progress.

"Wait just a second, I'll be right back." Jet-black hair disappeared into the confusion of the crowd. Dean, slightly confused, was waiting for Castiel to come back from the direction he'd left in, and was startled when a low voice came from behind him.

"Here you go, got you your schedule and a school map. One of the perks of working in the front office over the summer. And it looks like you'll only need these three books," Castiel said breathlessly, handing Dean his class schedule, map, and books. Wow. That was kind of nice. Dean stood there awkwardly.

"Hey, let me show you around," Castiel said with a small smile on his face. Dean just nodded his head at the invitation, and followed the teen down the nearest hallway. Walking behind him gave Dean the chance to get a good look at him. He was about as tall as Dean, maybe just a bit shorter, with disheveled black hair. He was wearing a dark blue t-shirt and khaki shorts. In comparison to Dean's lightly tanned skin, Castiel was a little on the pale side. He had a slight build and walked down the white tiled hall with confidence.

"Okay. This is the Science Wing," Castiel said as he turned to walk backwards so he could face Dean. "All of the science classes are located here, like chemistry, biology, even some physics classes." When they reached the end of the hall, they turned to the right into an identical hallway. "This is the Mathematics Wing. I think we have Geometry together." Dean felt a surge of happiness shoot up his spine at that. Castiel seemed to be a genuinely kind person; he was actually taking time out of his day to help a waste of space like him, when he could have just easily told him to look at his map.

Maybe they had more than just that class together. _Hmm._

* * *

The tour of the rest of the school went by quickly. Dean now knew where all of his classes were, along with where the cafeteria was and the school's gym. He was grateful to Castiel for showing him around. Even though he had a map of the school, Dean felt he could get to each class fine without it. When the impromptu tour was over, Dean turned to face Castiel.

"T-thank you...for the tour. I …uh…really appreciate it." Dean stumbled over his words. He wasn't used to talking much more than the occasional 'yes, sir' and 'no, sir'. In fact, that was the most he'd said the entire time they had been walking together.

"'s not a problem, really. I'll see you next Monday." Castiel's face was relaxed and open, with a carefree smile that reached his eyes. "Good-bye, Dean."

"Uh… bye." Dean ducked his head as he turned to leave the building. Once outside, he cut across the wide parking lot and onto the side walk before heading in the direction of the house that John had rented. His father had made him walk to the school today, saying that he'd "might as well get used to it". It was only about a two mile walk, not that bad really. He noticed the flowers that grew overflowing the ground on both sides of the side walk, an abundance of pale yellows and blues.

_Mmmm_.

The sun painted the evening sky golden as Dean walked, enjoying the quiet time that he had think to himself, letting his mind drift from thought to thought, mimicking the way the lazy butterflies flitted from flower to flower all around him.

The thick evening air made Dean think sleepy thoughts. The milky breeze caressed his skin.

And in his heart, Dean felt at peace.

* * *

**TBC**

A/N: Let me know what you thought of the chapter! Hope you liked it :D


	5. Chapter 5

Hooray for reviews! A big 'thank you' to all that took the time to review my story so far :3

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing!

Happy reading :D

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WHERE THERE'S A WILL (Ch. 5)

It was finally Monday morning, the first day of school. Dean was jittery and anxious as he got ready. He was dressed casually, wearing a gray plaid button up with a fresh white shirt underneath. The wash of his blue jeans complimented the golden undertones of his skin.

It was weird wearing new clothes. Over the weekend, Dean had spent nearly every last penny he had saved up to buy himself some clothes (that didn't have any holes in them) for the new school year. He didn't know why he even bothered though. It wasn't like anybody would talk to him.

Not somebody as worthless as him.

Well, except for maybe Castiel. He had seemed genuinely interested in talking to the shy hunter when they met last week, but maybe he had forgotten about him already. It wasn't like Dean to have many friends. Well, _any_ friends for that matter.

Why should Castiel want to change that?

As Dean headed down the stairs toward the kitchen, quietly, as to not wake his father, he held his school bag securely in his hands. It was old and worn around the edges, but had held up well the past few years. He didn't even bother looking at backpacks while in the crowded Walmart on Saturday. He already had limited funds as it was, no need to go completely broke.

When Dean walked into the dark and outdated kitchen, he was startled when he saw the ominous outline of John's body sitting in a rickety chair at the kitchen table. Dean instantly panicked. He had thought John was still asleep.

Hearing Dean approaching, John stood and turned to face the teen. By the looks of it, John had been up for some time. In the dim light, Dean could tell his face was clean shaven (well, as close to clean shaven as his face would get), his hair was combed, and his clothes were wrinkle-free. Dean noticed a large duffle bag near John's feet.

"I got a lead on a wendigo some miles away from here. It's about a two day's trip there and back." He picked up his duffle and slung it over his shoulder before he stepped forward to lean closer to Dean's face. "I want _no trouble _out of you while I'm gone, understand?" John said coldly, his face inches from Dean's. Dean quickly nodded his head.

"I don't hear you boy. ANSWER ME WHEN I ASK YOU A QUESTION!"

Dean flinched at the sudden volume in John's voice.

"Yes s-sir." Quiet, a whisper.

John grunted and stared at his son for long second. He suddenly brought back his hand and slapped Dean hard in the face. John stepped away from him. "Stupid shit," he spat out.

"I'll be back Friday," John muttered as he readjusted his bag on his back before storming out of the house. Dean's cheek was bright red and stinging as he stood feeling stupid in the now silent kitchen. He soon heard the sound of the impala peeling out of the drive way. He waited until he could no longer hear the hum of the engine before sitting down soundlessly into a kitchen chair.

Part of Dean was relieved. Now he could didn't have to worry about what kind of mood John would be in when he returned from school. John could be pretty unpredictable: some days he just completely ignored Dean and acted like he didn't exist, other days John would beat him so passionately, so savagely, that Dean would loose consciousness and not wake up for hours. Dean couldn't seem decide between the two which days he hated more.

With a sigh, the hungry teen stalked over to the run down refrigerator. Not much there. Just half a carton of milk that was probably about to expire, a package of cheese slices, and a case of beer. He turned to rummage through the cabinets. All he found there was some Cheerios, a loaf of bread, and a box of crackers. Dean's stomach rumbled impatiently. He reached for the cereal.

* * *

By the time Dean walked up to the school, the parking lot was filled with cars and the entrance was crowed with talkative teenagers. Squeezing his way through the mayhem, he leaned unnoticed against a brick column just inside the school's foyer, waiting for the first bell to ring. He only stood there a few minutes before he heard it, and headed off toward his first class of the day: English.

Keeping his head down as he climbed the stairs to the hall that Castiel, during his brief tour of the school had called the "Language Wing", he looked up only often enough to take note of the room numbers he was passing. _302, 304, 306 and… 308_. Head ducked, Dean stepped into the noisy room and into an empty chair at the back of the class. The final bell rang as a pretty brunette with arms full of paper stood at the front of the room.

"Okay class, settle down, settle down." Her smile was pleasant as she looked about the room at the now quieting students. "Good." Her smile grew.

"My name is Ms. Topal and I am your English teacher this school year." She started to hand out the papers row by row. "This is the class syllabus along with a sheet that I want signed by you and a legal guardian to turn in by Wednesday."

No problem. Dean could forge John's signature. He reached up to grab the papers from the person in front of him. It was then that he noticed the now familiar disheveled black hair.

_Oh_.

Castiel had half turned to hand Dean the papers and met his eyes briefly, about to turn back around before he quickly turned around again. "Hey! I thought that was you walking in," Castiel said quietly, his deep blue eyes light with laughter.

_He remembers me._

"Um…h-hi Castiel," Dean said with a weak smile. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._

"Hey, call me Cas, that's what all my friends address me as. I'm not used to hearing my full name like that. Well, unless I'm in trouble." More soft laughter, a gentle smile.

Before Dean could respond to that, Ms. Topal had called the class to order again.

"We are going to read through the syllabus and if there is some extra time at the end I will let you all visit with each other." She picked up her own copy of the syllabus and began to read it to the class. " 'Class Expectations'…"

* * *

At the end of class, as promised, the rowdy group of teens were allowed to talk amongst themselves. Castiel turned around in his seat so that he could face Dean.

"So it looks like we have two classes together," He said with a warm expression on his face. "You have Coach McLawson for Geometry third period, right?" Kind eyes searched Dean's.

"Um," Dean rifled through his backpack for his class schedule. _Mclawson third period..._ he muttered to himself as he scanned the page. "Uh y-yeah, I do."

"Great," Cas said, looking pleased. He eyed the paper in Dean's hands. "May I see your schedule?"

Dean nodded and handed it to him with a shaky hand. Cas skimmed over it quickly. His face lit up when he got to the bottom of the page.

"Looks like we'll be seeing a lot of each other. I have gym fifth period as well." He handed Dean back his schedule with a wide grin.

_Is he actually happy to have to see me again?_

The bell rang then, signaling the school that first period was over. Dean and Cas both jumped at the sound. Cas, chuckling softly at their reaction to the sudden noise, stood first. Dean fumbled out of his seat.

"Well, I guess I'll see you in another hour," Cas said warmly. Dean just nodded his head as he watched the friendly teen exit the room with lithe steps.

"See you later," Dean whispered to his retreating figure.

Dean gathered his things and left the now near empty classroom with his head held a little higher.

* * *

Dean's next class went by in a blur. It was biology, something that always interested the fair-haired teen. But since all they went over was the syllabus like in English, he found himself daydreaming through the entire hour.

Sitting in the hard seat, he pictured himself in a different life. He saw himself making sweet treats with his mother in a brightly lit kitchen while she danced to a song that was playing on the old radio that sat on the counter. He saw his father smiling at him as he took him to a baseball game. He saw himself rocking his baby brother to sleep in his arms, singing softly to him. _Hmm. _He could never picture his little brother as anything older than just a baby.

_Sammy._

The sound of the bell ringing startled Dean out of his thoughts. He slung his backpack over one shoulder and followed the rest of the class out of the room.

When he stepped through the door of his third class, Geometry, he quickly darted his eyes around the room. Kind blue eyes. _Cas._

Dean walked over hesitantly to where Cas was sitting. He sat down uneasily in the empty desk that was over to the right of the pale teen.

"So how was your last class?" Cas asked curiously.

"Um…" Dean didn't really know. He hadn't paid much attention. "… it was okay," he said softly.

"Mine was kind of dull. You know, the usual first day stuff." Cas seemed at ease as he talked to Dean. Dean relaxed a little in his chair.

The teacher walked in then, donned in black warm-up pants and plain gray t-shirt.

"Mkay, let's get this over with. The name's Coach McLawson and this is Geometry. Check your schedule: if you are in the wrong room, this is your chance to fix that." He waited a second. "Good. Now I know you're probably thinking this will be a blow off class since a coach is teaching it. Not a chance. Other than basketball, geometry is my _thang._" Some of the students laughed.

"I'm not going to stand here and insult your intelligence by reading the syllabus. I trust if you've made it this far, you can read it all by yourself." Coach McLawson began to hand out packets of paper. "Grab two. One of them is the syllabus and the other is a short quiz over what you should have learned last year. It won't be for a grade, I just want to see where you kids are and if we need to spend any time reviewing. You can start as soon as you get one."

Dean could tell he already was going to like this teacher.

* * *

By the time the class was done taking the quiz, the bell had rung again. The students began shuffling there way to the front of the class to drop off the packet on the coach's desk.

On the way out of the door, Dean quickly glanced at his schedule. _Looks like I have lunch next._

"Well, time for lunch." A low voice said from behind him, as if reading his thoughts.

"S-same here."

"Really? I must have overlooked that part when I was reading your schedule earlier." Cas shot Dean a toothy grin. "Would you like to sit with me?"

_Uh._

"Sure. S-sounds good." Dean was happy that Cas had asked him. He didn't particularly enjoy sitting alone.

"Great! You can meet some of my friends."

The happiness was quickly snuffed out by the overwhelming trepidation Dean suddenly felt.

_Of course he has friends. Why would he be a lonely loser like me? _

Dean ducked his head as he followed Cas toward the cafeteria.

* * *

As they navigated around the crowded lunchroom, Dean's nose was assailed by the tantalizing smell of hot, fresh food. The bowl of Cheerios from early that morning seemed long ago.

"So, what line do you want to get in? There are a lot of options," Cas said as his eyes jumped from line to line eagerly.

Dean only had a dollar and some change in his pocket. John never gave Dean any money for school.

"Uh, it doesn't really matter. Y-you pick."

They ended up going through the line that was serving pizza and fries. Cas noticed the way Dean eyed the food longingly as he told the lunch lady that he only wanted the bottle of soda that was in his hand.

"Are you sure you're not hungry?" Cas asked worriedly.

Dean studied the concern in his eyes before responding.

"Not r-really. This is good," He said, holding up the cold Sprite.

Cas didn't look convinced, but (thankfully) dropped the subject. Once he had paid for his food, he led the way over to a crowded table at the far end of the cafeteria where two girls and two guys sat arguing excitedly about something.

"Ash. I'm only going to tell you this one more time. THERE ARE NO SUCH THINGS AS ALIENS," the small blonde said, enunciating each word.

"Dude! There so is! I just saw this documentary last night about them and everything!" the boy with the dirty blonde hair wearing a Pink Floyd t-shirt was adamant.

The athletic looking guy with dark brown hair sitting to the right of the girl who had just spoke, started laughing hysterically.

"Yuck it up, pretty boy. You won't be laughing when an alien comes down and abducts your ass."

With that the whole table started laughing. Even Dean had to smile at that. The boy that Dean had assumed was Ash suddenly turned around, feeling the two teen's presence, and smiled up at Cas.

"Hey man! Long time no see! This a new friend?" he asked nudging his head toward Dean.

"Hey Ash. And yes, this is my friend, Dean." _Friend?_ "Dean…" Cas said, gesturing to the table. "This is Ash, Jo, Steven and Ana. Everyone, like I said, this is Dean."

The girl with red hair stood up and leaned across the table to shake Dean's hand. "Hi, I'm Ana. It's nice to meet you," she said, her face friendly. The blonde followed suit and introduced herself as Jo.

That only left Steven who actually walked around the table and shook Dean's hand firmly, with enthusiasm. "Sup man, you new here?"

Dean could only nod his head.

"Cool, welcome to Stone Ridge," Steven said as he turned to go back to his seat. Cas sat down to the right of Ash, and Dean to the right of him.

Suddenly, Cas stood. "I'll be right back."

Ash turned to look off in the direction Cas had took off in. "What was that all about?"

Dean felt uncomfortable. He picked up his soda and took tentative sips.

"Is that all you're going to have?" Ana asked with a furrowed brow.

"Yeah. I-I'm good."

"You sure man? I'm know I've got some extra twinkies in here somewhere," Steven offered while looking through his backpack. Before Dean could answer, Cas was already back at the table with another tray of pizza.

"Here," he said to Dean softly as he placed the tray in front of him. _Wow._

Astonished, Dean didn't know what to do at first. He just stared dumbly at the tray of food. "Go ahead, I swear I didn't poison it or anything," Cas' voice was kind and held a hint of a smile in it. Dean couldn't think of anything to say. _'Thank you' would be a good place to start, idiot._

"Thank you," Dean said quietly as he picked up a slice of pizza, keeping his eyes on the table. Cas smiled to himself as he took his seat sandwiched between Dean and Ash. The rest of lunch went by pleasantly.

* * *

Fourth period went by quickly. It wasn't long before Dean heard the familiar bell once again that dismissed him to his last class of the day: Gym.

The school's gym was located on the opposite end of campus. By the time Dean walked through the large double doors, the bell was already ringing again. He quickly climbed the bleachers where everybody else was sitting, and sat down. After a quick introduction to the course, the coach—which happened to be Coach McLawson—brought out a variety sports equipment so that the students could stay occupied. They didn't have to dress out since it was the first day. Cas, who seemed to come out of nowhere, suddenly was standing in front of Dean.

"I was starting to think that you weren't going to show." Cas' ever-present smile was friendly and casual.

"My last class is kind of far f-from here," Dean explained.

Cas nodded knowingly. "So, would you like to maybe shoot some hoops?" he gestured to the cart full of basketballs. "Or whatever you'd like to do."

"That's fine."

Cas grabbed two basketballs and handed one to Dean. They walked over to an empty basket and began aiming the balls at it.

Cas was impressed by how many times Dean's ball passed through the hoop. Dean really seemed at ease as he made basket after basket. Cas wasn't the only one impressed. Coach McLawson had been watching the two boys. He walked up after Dean had sunk his ball through the basket once more.

"You've got a great shot there. Winchester is it?"

Dean was unaccustomed to praise. "Y-yes sir."

"Hmm. You should think about trying out for the basketball team. We could really use a shot like that."

Dean blinked. "Maybe. I'll… uh… think about it." He enjoyed playing basket ball during gym class at the last school he'd attended. But he didn't think he was good enough to try out for any team.

"Alright, let me know." Dean ducked his head as the coach walked away.

"You really should consider trying out. You're good at this," Cas told Dean.

Dean didn't really have anything to say to that, so just nodded his head and continued to aim his ball for the hoop.

* * *

School was finally over. After class had let out, Cas patted Dean's arm in a friendly way and told him that he'd see him tomorrow. Dean weakly smiled in response and starting walking home.

After eating another bowl of cereal for his dinner and taking a long shower that night, Dean climbed on top of the cold, coverless mattress in his room. It had been a long day.

Dean, reflecting on his day, hadn't expected everyone to be so nice to him. Didn't they know he was worthless? Didn't they know he was a killer?

His mother, his brother.

_Sammy._

Didn't they know he deserved to die?

Dean turned over on the hard mattress. He let his mind drift to the kind hearted dark-haired boy.

Cas had been so nice to him. What was it he'd called Dean? _His friend._

Yeah, Cas was really nice.

The soft sounds of the late-summer evening came in through Dean's open window. It was a bit warm in his stuffy room and the gentle breeze that glided through the window felt amazing. He heard the sound of trees rustling. He could see the moon shining brightly into the dark space. Crickets were chirping quietly on the ground below. Somewhere, distantly, an owl hooted.

Dean closed his eyes as the night's song softly lulled him to sleep.

* * *

**TBC**

A/N: Hooray for longer chapters! I hope you guys enjoyed it! Thanks again to all of the reviews! They are very motivating :)

Keep reviewing!


	6. Chapter 6

So many kind reviews! Thank you soooo much, it truly means a lot to me :D Updates will probably be a bit sporadic for a while, but still check back often! I'm an extreme procrastinator when it comes to school work so I might be able to post new chapters sooner than I'm thinking ;3

Sorry for any spelling errors or mistakes!

**Disclaimer: **As always, I own nothing!

Hope you like it!

* * *

**WHERE THERE'S A WILL (Ch. 6)**

The first week of school was going by in a surprisingly quick and pleasant blur. As Dean headed toward the bathroom to get cleaned up before he had to leave for school, all he could think about was how nice Cas had been to him. The kind teen had continued to buy Dean's lunch every day, and even started meeting him in the mornings in front of the school so they could walk to class together. Dean felt bad about Cas buying his lunch so often, but was grateful for his kindness and company nonetheless. Seeing Cas' cheerful face every morning put a bright spot on Dean's day.

Dean took his time in the shower that morning. Having woken up early, he had plenty of time to kill as he soaped up his lean body. The hot water was soothing.

_Mmmm._

He gently washed over the deep scars on his arm.

Dean hadn't cut himself all week. Even though he had felt a slight twinge to do so after his father had hit him before leaving on Monday, he didn't give in to the temptation. And being around Cas' healing energy all week had pushed those thoughts even further away.

_Cas._

Dean stepped out of the shower and proceeded with his morning routine as usual. After stuffing down a couple of crackers (the milk had finally expired) he stepped out of the house into the bright morning sun.

* * *

When Dean walked up to the school he immediately spotted Cas. He was wearing a light blue t-shirt and white shorts that came to just below his knees. His hair, the shiny black disheveled nest, was the same as always as it blew lightly in the wind. His intense blue eyes sparkled as the bright and beautiful day reflected off of them.

Dean came to a stop in front of him.

"Hello, Dean." Cas, like every morning, seemed happy to see him.

"H-hey." Still as awkward as usual.

Cas frowned for a second. "That can't be comfortable," he said, not unkindly, while looking at Dean's clothes. Dean was wearing a long sleeve burgundy pull-over shirt and blue jeans. It was ninety degrees outside already, and the day had just begun. _Typical Texas weather._

Dean flushed and just shrugged his shoulders. He couldn't handle the thought of Cas or _anyone_ ever finding out about his scars, about his cutting. Plus the near constant rash of bruises that decorated his body, all thanks to John, were a lot less noticeable when most of his skin was covered up.

Sensing Dean's unease and feeling bad about being the cause of it, Cas quickly changed the subject. "Can you believe it's already Friday? This week has gone by so fast."

Friday.

Dean's heart sunk. John would be coming home today.

"Dean? Are you okay?" Cas had noticed how pale Dean had suddenly turned. He looked like he was about to pass out. "Dean?" The concern was rising in his voice.

"Uh, yeah. I…I'm fine. Just a little tired I guess," his voice came out softer than a whisper. Dean felt sick.

"Okay…" Cas sounded unsure.

The bell rang and they headed off to their first class together in silence.

* * *

Dean was distracted all day. At lunch when Cas was asking Dean what he wanted to eat, all Dean said was, "Uh…j-just a soda please. I'm not that hungry." Dean's sudden reclusive behavior was really starting to worry Cas.

They still didn't have to dress out in Gym, but instead of playing basketball like they had been doing for the past few days, Dean just sat down on the bleachers. He told Cas that he just didn't feel like playing. Even though Dean told him he could go hang out with some of the other kids if he wanted to, Cas had chosen to sit down patiently beside him. When class was over, Dean barely nodded his head in his direction when Cas told him to "have a great weekend". He kept his head down as he shuffled his way out of the school.

Nearing the turn for his street, Dean's stomach started twisting into painful knots. Would John be home? What kind of mood would he be in? Dean bit his lip nervously. He turned the corner.

A shiny black impala.

Dean slowly approached the front door, trying to put off seeing his father for as long as he could. Sucking in a deep breath, Dean turned his key in the door, and stepped inside.

John was sitting on the worn couch in the dim living room, cans of beer strewn carelessly around him. He was holding an open one in his hand.

"Where the hell have you been?" The last few words were mashed together.

"S-school, sir."

John took a swig of his beer and studied Dean for a second.

"The bathroom is a mess," he slurred as he stood from the couch. Dean took a step back. Dean knew he didn't leave the bathroom dirty that morning. He was always very careful to clean after himself, almost to the point of obsession. With John you could never be too careful. The numerous beatings Dean had recieved over the years had taught him that.

"I c-cleaned up after myselft b-before I left this morning." Dean's eyes were pleading as he looked up at his father.

John didn't like that.

John walked over to where Dean was standing and gripped his arm tightly as he dragged the terrified teen up the stairs. When they reached the bathroom, Dean was shocked. Wet globs of toilet paper was everywhere, toothpaste was smeared all over the mirror and on everything else, the toilet looked like it was about to overflow, the shower curtain was only hanging by one ring, the other rings having been broken. It was complete chaos. Dean was speechless. He looked at his dad with horrified eyes. "I-I didn't, I s-swear, I-…"

John cut Dean off by grabbing his face and forcibly smashing it into the scummy mirror.

"_LOOK _AT THIS SHIT! When I left, this bathroom was _CLEAN._"

John, holding Dean by the back of the neck, yanked him off of the mirror before he slammed the hapless teen flat on his back on the cold tiled floor. Dean saw stars. Tears started to sting his eyes. Dean knew John had destroyed the bathroom. They were the only ones with keys to the house. There was no way anybody else could have done it.

John dug the heel of his boot hard into Dean's hand making the teen cry out in agony. And as suddenly as it had began, he stopped.

"_Go to your room," _John told Dean, his voice was low and menacing, barely audible. "_And don't come out until I tell you to." _Dean was too scared to move.

"NOW!"

Dean quickly picked himself off of the floor and scurried off to his room, cradling his aching hand close to his body. He closed his door softly and stole quietly over to his bed, silent tears falling from grace.

Dean sat down.

And waited.

* * *

**TBC**

A/N: Suuper short chapter, I know, I know! and I'm sorry D: I just really wanted to post a chapter today since it will probably be this weekend before I post another, but don't hold me to that! It could be much sooner :D Please keep reviewing! Tell me what you thought of the chapter!


	7. Chapter 7

Wow, another chapter? Really? Once the creative juices start flowing, it's like I can't stop! Thank you sooo much for all of the reviews!

**Please Read:** You guys probably have already figured this out, but the pacing of this story is going to be kind of slow. I just really want the feelings between Cas and Dean to grow naturally. Please don't get frustrated with me! *hides behind fluffy pillow*

Keep reviewing please! I want to know what you guys are thinking :D Love it? Hate it? Let me know!

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing!

Sorry for any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes :*

Happy reading :)

* * *

**WHERE THERE'S A WILL (Ch. 7)**

Dean sat on his bed for a long time. The throbbing pain in his hand was slowly turning into a dull ache. He was a nervous wreck. When would John come to tell him he could leave his room? Two days were beginning to seem like a long time.

Dean was starting to fall asleep when his ears perked at a noise coming from the hallway. He sat up quickly, now wide awake. The door to his room flew open.

If John seemed a bit drunk before, he was completely wrecked now. He had a thick piece of rope in one hand, a baseball bat in the other. _No, no, no._

Without saying a word, he yanked Dean to a standing position and began to drag him down the stairs. Dean nearly lost his footing as he tried to keep up with him. When they reached the bottom, John released his grip and shoved Dean back a step.

"Take off your shirt." John's breath reeked of stale beer.

Dean felt hysterical. "I-I…p-please, p-please…"

"DO IT!"

Dean flinched, but slowly began to remove his shirt. His self-inflicted scars were now visible, but John didn't seem to care or notice.

John kicked Dean's legs out from underneath him, and before the horror-filled teen could right himself, grabbed both of his wrists in one large hand and began tying Dean to the railing of the staircase. Once he was sure that Dean couldn't escape, John bent over slightly to get directly into Dean's face.

"You think you know everything huh? Because you go to school every day. YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!"

Dean had no clue what John was talking about as he half kneeled by the stairs, his wrists bound tightly. The rope was beginning to cut through his skin.

John picked up the bat he had placed on the floor while he was tying up his son. He swayed a little before bringing down the bat in a fierce blow against Dean's side.

Before Dean could properly contain it, he let out pained scream. The bat seemed to connect directly to his ribcage.

"YOU MEAN _NOTHING _TO ME! DO YOU UNDERSTAND? _NOTHING! _NOT AFTER WHAT YOU DID. NOT AFTER YOU KILLED MY MARY. YOU LET HER _DIE _DEAN." John's voice rose on octave at the last part. He swung the bat over and over across Dean's back, his sides, his stomach, whichever way Dean squirmed the bat followed. His skin was turning bright red.

Dean went from screaming to sobbing as blow after blow came down on him, pummeling him, making his stomach churn with pain induced nausea.

"S-stop…s-stop" Dean's voice broken with sobs. "P-lease… I'm s-so sorry… j-just…p-please…" Dean couldn't think straight. His wrists were on fire and blood started to drip down his arms. He tried to twist away from the forceful impact of the bat, but that only added to the sickening burn.

"YOU KILLED HER! You killed my Mary…" John dropped the bat as he began to cry. Dean was too scared to look away. John gave Dean one last hateful look before he stumbled up the stairs to his bedroom and slammed the door shut.

Dean was still tied up. Tears were streaming down his face as he sobbed into the crook of his arm.

For hours, Dean cried and cried and cried. His sobs turned into hiccups as exhaustion began to take over him. He finally drifted off to sleep, little dribbles of blood still falling from his wrists.

Because tears were not enough.

* * *

The entire weekend, Dean remained tied to the stair railing. His bladder was begging for release, his stomach crying out for food, his body pleading for rest. Dean hung listless by his wrists, his eyes staring at nothing. It was late Sunday night, school would be in the morning.

_Cas._

Dean really wanted to see Cas. A silent tear slid down his face.

It was early Monday morning before John untied him.

"Go get ready for school." John said to Dean, his voice emotionless.

Dean's arms felt like putty, his legs were unsteady, and the room seemed to waver a little as he stood. Everything hurt. He slowly made his way up the stairs into the still trashed out bathroom. He closed the door behind him. Dean tried his best to make out his image in the gritty mirror. He grabbed a wash cloth, wet it, and scrubbed away some of the caked on toothpaste.

_Wow._

Dean looked terrible. His lifeless eyes looked sunken into his face, his body was so densely covered in bruises that his skin looked painted in purple. His wrists looked awful. Old blood crusted near the jagged cuts, wrapped around each slender wrist like a bracelet. Dean could no longer ignore the pain in his bladder and quickly relieved himself. The toilet seemed to be okay after all as he flushed. He was about to turn on the shower when he suddenly had to turn back toward the toilet and vomit the little bit of food he had left before dry heaving a few times. Dean clutched his stomach in agony. How could he make it through another day, another second?

_Cas._

Dean turned on the shower and slowly got ready for school.

* * *

Dean still managed to get to school early, even with the slower pace. He spotted Cas in his usual spot by the school's doors. Cas hadn't noticed Dean yet, and the fair-haired teen found himself taking a moment to stare at him.

Cas' face seemed peaceful, relaxed as he soaked in the sun's warm rays. He was dressed simply in a white t-shirt and the same khaki shorts he had worn the first time Dean had met him. He appeared to be lost in thought. Dean finally walked over to him.

"H-hey Cas." Dean tried to sound optimistic.

Cas turned his head at the sound of Dean's voice with a ready smile on his face before he dropped his jaw suddenly, eyes wide.

"Dean?" Cas rushed up to him. "Dean, what happened?" Cas took note of how pale Dean looked, even more pale than he had been on Friday. His eyes were glassy, he looked beyond exhausted and seemed a bit thinner than usual. Without thinking, Cas raised a soft hand to Dean's jaw. His skin was clammy.

"It's nothing. I…got sick over t-the weekend. Just a bug." Dean was glad Cas couldn't see the bruises that marred his skin underneath his long sleeve shirt and blue jeans.

Cas' hand was still touching Dean's face, and Dean found himself relishing the soft warmth. When the first bell rang, Cas dropped his hand.

"I should take you to the nurse." Dean looked in no shape to go to class.

"That's okay, r-really. I-I'm good."

"Dean...are you sure? You really look like you don't feel well," Cas said as Dean's face turned impossibly more pale.

"No. R-really, I'm f-…" Dean suddenly felt very dizzy and was beginning to fall, when Cas caught and steadied him.

"Whoa, whoa, Dean? I've got you, I've got you." Cas' brow was scrunched with worry and his voice was filled with concern. When Cas had caught Dean, he noticed something bulky on Dean's wrist under the material of his shirt. Dean bit back a pained groan at the contact. He had bandaged his wrists before leaving for school.

To better steady Dean, Cas wrapped a strong arm around the trembling teen's middle and again Dean had to fight back a groan at the contact. That really hurt. Cas could feel Dean's ribs. "Dean, when's the last time you've eaten anything?"

Dean couldn't respond right away with the world spinning so much. John hadn't let Dean eat anything before he left and he hadn't eaten all weekend.

Cas started to lead Dean into the building. "If you won't go to the nurse, then we'll go somewhere else." Cas had just the spot in mind.

* * *

When they reached their destination, Cas gently sat Dean down on something soft and comfortable. A couch? Dean looked up to take in his surroundings. It looked like he was…on a stage?

"We're in the auditorium. Well, more like backstage in the auditorium. No one comes back here much unless the drama department is about to put on a play." Cas explained when he saw Dean looking curiously around the space. Old stage props from the previous year were stacked and scattered all over the large area. A thick heavy curtain cut them off from the rest of the auditorium and a row of bright stage lights that ran along the length of the curtain directly above them shone down on them.

Cas sat down close enough to Dean that their knees were touching. Dean blushed and didn't know why.

"Eat this." Cas said softly, handing Dean a turkey sandwich and an apple. "I had decided to bring my lunch today, and I had made one for you too." Cas started to look nervous when Dean didn't immediately take it. "Cas. Y-you don't have to…" Cas just offered Dean a sad smile. "Please just take it Dean." The exhausted teen timidly accepted the nourishment. He was too tired to put up much more of a fight.

* * *

Cas made sure that Dean ate everything and offered Dean half of his own sandwich as well. Dean greedily accepted, suddenly realizing how hungry he was. When he was finished, Cas handed him a warm water bottle and Dean drank the entire thing in just a few gulps. Cas looked at him worriedly, but didn't say anything.

When Dean was done, he instantly felt embarrassed to have completely pigged out in front of the blue-eyed teen like that. Cas, as if sensing Dean's discomfort, began to talk to him.

"So…what's your family like?" Wrong question. Dean stared at his feet. Cas was mentally kicking himself for making Dean even more uncomfortable when shy green eyes met his again. "I…live with my f-father. Uh… my mother and baby brother died a long time ago." Why was Dean sharing this?

Cas looked sad. "I'm sorry to hear that. My parents died when I was about 10 in a car crash. Hit and run. I live with my brother now."

Dean's heart ached for Cas. He knew what the pain of loss felt like."W-what's your brother's name?"

"Michael. He's pretty great…you know, taking care of his kid brother straight out of college. He can be kind of bossy sometimes, but he's a really nice guy. What was your brother like? Uh… if you don't mind me asking."

Dean's eyes took on a far away look. What was Sammy like?

"Perfect." Dean decided. Samuel Winchester. _My Sammy._ When Dean's eyes focused on Cas again, he felt himself getting lost in the identical seas of blue. Cas really had nice eyes.

"You should come over sometime. Like maybe on a weekend. We could play video games or something. You could meet my brother. I know he'd really like you."

_Really?_

Dean's heart began to beat a bit faster. "That w-would be nice."

Cas smiled warmly at that.

Dean's eye lids began to droop. He shifted a bit to get more comfortable, his knee rubbing against Cas' with the movement. Cas was really warm. Heat radiated off of him in gentle, soothing waves. Dean yawned. He was really tired.

"You should sleep. You look like you could use it." Cas said softly.

Dean nodded his head and quickly drifted off to sleep, feeling safe for the first time in days.

Cas studied Dean's face. He looked so peaceful as he slept.

"Sleep well, Dean."

* * *

**TBC**

A/N: Awww :3 I have no idea where this chapter came from! I was really going to wait to post another chapter until Friday, honestly! But then my muse started blabbing all this stuff in my ear and I had to write just to shut her up! Hope you guys liked it! Let me know what you think! :D


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8! Thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter :)

Sorry for any grammatical mistakes or spelling errors!

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing!

Hope you like it :D

* * *

**WHERE THERE'S A WILL (Ch. 8)**

The school day was almost over and Dean was still leaning back on the couch, sleeping peacefully with Cas watching over him like a sentry. Dean made soft noises as he slept.

Cas couldn't stop staring at the worn out hunter.

In the throes of sleep, Dean almost seemed angelic, silky golden hair, lightly tanned skin with a sprinkling of freckles that danced across his cheeks and his perfect nose. The bright stage lights above them cast Dean in an ethereal glow.

Cas ran a slender hand through his hair, tracing down his face, over his hallowed cheek, down to his prominent jaw._ Dean really needs to start eating more._ Cas moved his hand again to rest lightly on the conjunction between Dean's neck and shoulder. In his sleep, the exhausted teen sighed softly. Involuntarily, Cas smiled.

Cas removed his hand so he could glance down at his watch. It was almost time for school to be over for the day. For some reason that he couldn't quite name, Cas didn't want Dean to go home. It made him feel…uneasy. Movement on the couch next to him, made Cas look up. Tired green eyes met his. Well, less tired Cas decided. "How are you feeling?"

Dean blinked a few times and sat up a bit. "Better," he finally said in a weak voice. And he really did feel better. The food, sleep, and company had been what the young hunter had needed. He blushed slightly. "Thank y-you," he said softly with significance.

Cas flashed a white smile in his direction. "It was no problem. I didn't really feel like going to class today anyway. I'm just glad that you are feeling better. You really had me worried earlier."

Blue orbs scanned Dean's face, his words suddenly reminding him of just how pale Dean had been that morning. "And you're sure you're feeling better?" Dean nodded his head.

The bell rang overhead signaling the end of the school day. Dean shifted to the edge of the comfortable couch and Cas helped him to his feet. Once Cas was sure that the fair-haired teen would be okay standing alone, he reached over to grab both of their backpacks. He led them both out of the auditorium and into the main part of school before handing Dean his. Cas still felt uneasy, and it showed on his face.

"I guess I'll see you t-tomorrow?" Dean didn't understand the concerned look on Cas' face.

Cas only nodded his head. Dean almost made it to the school's front entrance before he heard a familiar voice call his name. He turned and stood still while waiting for Cas to catch up to him. "Would…would you like a ride home? I've noticed you walk home every day and after what happened this morning… well, would you like a ride?" Dean never heard the smaller teen so flustered. Blue eyes pleaded silently with him.

"Sure. T-that would be great." Cas' returning smile was radiant. They walked to the parking lot side by side.

* * *

When they reached a sporty and sleek black Mazda, they stopped. Cas unlocked the doors with a beep and slid into the driver's seat. Dean was still standing outside the car on the passenger side.

"Dean?"

"Uh…sorry." Dean opened the door and sat stiffly in the passenger seat with a barely contained hiss. He was sore all over. He looked around the cab at the tan leather interior.

"It's my brother's car," Cas explained. Well, _one_ of them, but he didn't want to brag. "Sometimes he let's me drive it to school." He carefully backed out of the parking spot before leaving the lot and heading towards the street. "Which way?"

"L-left."

It didn't take long to get to the shabby two-story. Cas was a bit shocked at it's rough appearance.

"Thank you for t-the ride. I'll see you tomorrow," Dean said as he stepped out of the nice car.

"See you tomorrow," Cas agreed with a smile. He waited until Dean was safely inside before driving off.

Once inside, Dean leaned against the closed front door and closed his eyes.

Today was kind of…

_Nice._

Dean was grateful that his dad wasn't home when they drove up. He walked away from the door and stopped off in the kitchen to grab some cleaning products before slowly making his way up the stairs toward his bedroom. He sat his school bag down on the floor near his bed before walking down the hallway toward the still messy bathroom, cleaning products in hand. He stood in the doorway for a minute, just staring in awe at all that John had done. _Why?_

Rolling his shoulders with a wince, he began to clean.

* * *

The rest of the week went by without incident. It was like John couldn't stand to be in the same room with Dean for more than five minutes at a time. He was starting to spend less and less time at home but Dean couldn't find it in his heart to be hurt by this. He was just glad to have the chance to heal in peace.

Friday after school was over, Dean and Cas walked to the parking lot together like they had been doing all week. The kind-hearted teen was now giving Dean a ride home every day.

The shy teen tried to turn down the rides at first, but finally caved in, much to Cas' relief. He didn't like the thought of Dean walking home by himself after he had seen him so… there weren't even words for how Dean had looked Monday. And the rides weren't given solely out of concern: Cas truly enjoyed Dean's company. Dean just made Cas…happy.

On the way to drop Dean off, Cas asked him if he would like to come over to his house this weekend. Dean had remembered them talking about him coming over and meeting his brother when they had spent the day together in the auditorium Monday. Dean nervously agreed. He knew that John wouldn't be home that weekend since he had a lead on a hunt that was a few days drive away.

"Great! It will have to be later on in the day though…is that okay?"

Dean nodded his head with a small smile.

"Awesome," Two rows of perfectly white teeth. "I'll come to pick you up at…5ish?" Another head nod.

Cas pulled over in front of Dean's house. "See you tomorrow, Dean." His deep blue eyes were light and happy, his smile contagious.

"B-bye." Dean's grin felt goofy on his face. It wasn't until the shiny black Mazda had pulled away that Dean suddenly started panicking.

_Cas' house?_

_Tomorrow?_

What had he just agreed to?

* * *

**TBC**

A/N: Really short, I know :( Don't hate me!

Tell me what you thought of the chapter!


	9. Chapter 9

New chapter! Yay :3

Sorry for any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes! And thank you for all of the kind reviews!

Special thanks and a shout out to my sister who has endured numerous questions over wording and sentence placement :3

Another shout out to God! The past few weeks have been rough, and I couldn't have made it through without Him :DD Go team Jesus!

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing!

Hope you like it :D

* * *

**WHERE THERE'S A WILL (Ch. 9)**

It was Saturday evening and Dean was a nervous wreck.

Today he would be going to Cas' house.

On the very short list of friends that Dean had from over the years, none had ever asked him to hang out outside of school. What was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to act? Would Cas' brother take one look at Dean and hate him?

Dean glanced at the clock that hung in the living room.

_4:47_

Cas said that he would come to pick him up at around five. Dean fidgeted with the buttons of his shirt. It was a solid dark blue and the nicest shirt he owned. Green eyes flickered anxiously around the room.

Dean jumped when he heard knocking at the door. He took a second to collect himself before walking over to answer it with a hesitant look on his face.

"Hello, Dean." Cas seemed relaxed, a lazy smile painting his face with calmness. He was dressed in a gray polo and dark blue jeans. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah. S-sure. Let's go." Dean followed Cas down the walkway to the shiny Mazda.

Once in the car, Cas began driving them away from the lower-class neighborhood Dean lived in, to the more upscale part of town. Boutiques and custom furniture shops flashed by quickly through the window.

"So, how has your day been so far?" Cas kept his eyes on the road, but had tilted is head in Dean's direction.

"It's b-been okay. Um…how about your day?" The small talk was making Dean feel awkward.

"Can't complain. The weather today has been really nice."

Silence.

Cas spared a quick glance at Dean. He was sitting stiffly in the passenger seat, staring straight ahead. "You know there's no reason for you to be nervous. I swear my brother doesn't bite." Soft laughter. The sound of it made the nervous knots in Dean's stomach unclench just a little. He relaxed more into the seat.

"Y-yeah…I know. I just…I don't really hang out with f-friends much." Dean felt incredibly stupid.

The smile on Cas' face turned sad. _Well, I'm definitely going to change that._

They rode the rest of the way in silence.

* * *

After a few more twists and turns, they finally turned down a residential street. All of the houses were huge, some with three-car garages, some with four. When they stopped in front of a gray-blue stone house, Dean noticed it had enough garage doors for five cars. The lawn was perfectly manicured, a beautiful shade tree-_Bradford pear?-_sat plump in the middle of the yard, and the small bushes that were close to the house had white blossoms growing out of them.

_Wow._

"Dean?" Cas was already out of the car.

"Oh…uh s-sorry."

Dean followed Cas up to the impressive oak door. When they stepped inside the house, Dean was a bit surprised by its interior. The inside had a cozy, lived in feel to it. In the spacious living room that was straight ahead and to the left, sat a beige leather couch with a dark blue afghan strewn across it. On top of the mantel of the ornate mahogany fire place were family photos. Thick dark blue curtains hung over the windows, drawn open to allow sunlight to fill the room. Glancing to the right was a dining room, and hanging on the wall of the room was a large painting of a beautiful countryside.

"Your h-house, it's r-really nice," Dean said as he turned his attention back to Cas.

"Thank you," Cas said with a small smile. "I've lived here most of my life. This is where I was living when my parents died." His face turned a little sad. "They were both doctors. They were good people, y'know? Kindhearted and generous." _That must be where Cas gets it from. _"So…what would you like to do? We have board games, video games…ever played a game on a Wii before?"

Dean shook his head indicating that he hadn't.

"Would you like me to teach you how to play?"

"S-sure."

Just then, a taller and slightly older version of Cas popped around the corner. Kind blue eyes met Dean's before flickering to Cas. "Hey, Cas. Is this your friend?"

"Yes, this is Dean. And Dean, this is Michael, my brother."

Michael walked over to shake Dean's hand. "Nice to meet you," Michael said genuinely, with a bright smile.

"I-it's nice to meet you too." Dean kept his eyes on the floor.

"Well, you two let me know if you need anything. I'll be in the kitchen. Dinner will be in a few hours." Michael smiled in Dean's direction again before heading off.

"I hope you don't mind, but Michael decided to make dinner for all of us. Well…actually, I told him you would be staying for dinner. Is that okay?" Cas seemed worried.

Dean was surprised, but didn't mind at all. It would be nice not to have to eat alone. Besides, there wasn't much _to_ eat at his house anyway. "No, t-that's fine."

Cas looked relieved. "Great," he said enthusiastically. He then led the hunter further into the house and down a short flight of stairs into a finished basement, complete with a brown leather sectional, a large screen T.V, and in the far corner, some work out equipment. Along the wall that housed the T.V was a built-in shelf filled with games, books, and movies.

"Let me just set up the Wii and we can get started." Cas said as he looked for the console.

* * *

It took a while for Dean to get used to handling the remote, but he was having fun nonetheless. They played a lot of different games, but the game Dean was best at was Guitar Hero. He knew a lot of the songs and sang them softly to himself as he got himself into a steady rhythm. Cas smiled at the sound.

"I didn't know you could sing," The raven-haired teen said suddenly. Dean blushed; he hadn't realized he had been. They played for a bit longer before both deciding they were ready to do something else. Cas glanced at his watch. "C'mon, let's go upstairs to my room. I want to show you something." Dean simply followed the dark haired teen out of the basement to the first floor, then up another set of stairs to the second floor. They went down a long hallway lined with doors before Cas stopped in front of one and opened it.

The room was reasonably sized. The walls were painted a light blue and the bed that sat against the far wall had a dark blue striped comforter. To the right of the bed was a night stand with an alarm clock and lamp sitting on top. Against the wall that was to the immediate right of where Dean stood in the doorway was a white built-in book shelf.

Cas walked into the room and went straight for the window that was on the left side of the room. Pulling the blinds all the way up, he undid the latch and opened up the window. The look he gave Dean signaled the blonde to come over to where he was. Directly under the window on the outside was a small section of roof which Cas promptly stepped out on. He held out a hand to help Dean. Once he was sure Dean was safely on the roof, Cas climbed up to the larger span of roof that was elevated about a foot higher. He turned to help Dean again and when they were both situated, gestured a hand out in front of them. "Look at the view," Cas said slightly breathless after the brief physical exertion. Dean half turned and looked out.

_Wow._

From where they stood, a gorgeous obstruction-free view of miles upon miles of trees and grassy hills could be seen. The late evening sky, a painter's pallet of gold, orange, pink, and purple seemed to envelope them. Cas sat down on the sun-warmed roof, half reclining on his elbows. Dean copied him.

"Nice isn't it?" Cas murmured softly. "I come up here sometimes when I need to just…get away. I really love it up here."

Dean understood what the blue-eyed teen meant by needing to get away. It felt like they were sitting in the sky. "Yeah. It's beautiful Cas." Dean was the most at ease he'd been all day. He squinted his eyes far out over the landscape to where the sky met jagged earth that Dean guessed was forest area. Cas looked in the direction Dean was looking in. "Michael and I go hiking there sometimes. It has plenty of great trails and views. Maybe one day we could go...if you like hiking."

"That w-would be fun," Dean said with a smile. From within the house, both teens heard a voice calling them to dinner. They both stood and went back through the window into Cas' room before walking down the stairs and into the kitchen. Whatever Cas' brother had made smelled amazing. Michael greeted them both with a wide smile. "I don't know what you like to eat. I hope chicken is okay," Michael said to Dean who assured him that whatever he cooked would be fine.

They all sat down at the kitchen table filled with food. There was chicken—like Michael had mentioned—garlic mashed potatoes, seasoned green beans, and fluffy buttered rolls. To the right of the bowl that held the mashed potatoes was a small gravy boat. Everything looked delicious.

Cas and Michael had already begun to serve themselves, and Dean felt a familiar twinge of nervousness at the thought of helping himself to the spread as if it were his own house. Cas looked over at him and gave the hunter a kind smile. Dean gave a shy grin in response. He pushed his qualms into the back of his mind as he started filling his plate.

* * *

Dinner was amazing and Dean felt full in a way that he hadn't felt in a long time. The good tasting food had made him curious. He looked up tentatively at Michael. "Are y-you a chef ?"

Cas began to laugh hysterically. "He wishes!"

Michael shot Cas a feigned wounded look before laughing himself. "No, it's just a hobby of mine. I'm a performer, I play the piano."

Cas started to gather up the empty dishes. Dean stood and began to help. "You two don't need to do that," Michael said with a frown from his seat. "Especially not you, Dean. You're the guest."

"I-I don't mind. I'm used to it." Dean started to run hot water in the kitchen sink.

"At least let me wash them," Cas said, agreeing with Michael. Noticing Dean was about to start protesting, he quickly added, "You can dry." Dean nodded his head and they set to work. Michael swept the floor as they washed the dishes, joking with them, making the room that much brighter by his presence and simultaneously making Dean feel more comfortable. Another family characteristic Cas possessed.

As Cas was handing Dean another slippery plate to dry while laughing at something that Michael had just said, it slid right out of the hunter's grip and onto the tiled floor where it shattered into pieces.

_No._

Beads of sweat began to trickle down Dean's back. Michael quickly walked over to where he was standing. Dean started backing away. "I'm s-sorry, I-I'm so, so, s-sorry, please, I-I…"

"It's no big deal, it's just a plate," Michael said kindly with a concerned look on his face as he stared at the trembling teen.

"P-please…I-I'm sorry…j-just…p-please" Dean looked absolutely terrified.

"Hey, hey, it's okay Dean, really." Michael reached out a hand to put on Dean's shoulder in an effort to calm him. Dean violently jerked away, cowering until he bumped into the counter behind him. "P-please, please, I-I'm s-sorry, don't, don't hurt me…" The blonde-haired teen looked like he was about to start having a panic attack.

"Whoa, whoa, no one's going to hurt you," Cas said, his face and voice filled with worry. _Why does Dean think we're going to hurt him? _"Dean?"

Dean was completely out of it. All he could see was John's face as it came closer and closer. How many times had John told him to keep the house clean? Now there was glass everywhere and John looked livid as he stalked closer to him. Dean dropped down onto the floor, huddled with his head between his knees, arms covering his head. "P-please, p-please…" His voice was broken with pained sobs. _Don't beat me, don't beat me._

Cas crouched down next to him, shaking him, trying to get him out of whatever trance he was in. "Dean? Dean!"

Michael was on his knees beside the terrified hunter as well. "Dean? C'mon buddy, snap out of it." Frightened by the way Dean had begun to rock back and forth still sputtering nonsense, he was seriously considering calling an ambulance.

"Dean?" Cas reached out cool, slender hands to cup the hunter's face so that he could look him in the eye. "Dean, you're okay, you're safe. It's Cas, you're at my house, remember? Dean?"

That finally seemed to break Dean out of his trance. Green eyes blinked a few times as they focused on Cas' deep blue eyes. "Cas?" The last few images of John's face finally cleared from Dean's vision.

Cas and Michael both sighed in relief. "Yes, yes Dean. It's me. Are you okay?"

Mortified as he realized what must have just happened, Dean suddenly was on his feet. "I…I've got to go. I'm…I'm sorry…I…" Dean broke away from Cas and quickly exited the kitchen.

"Whoa, wait, Dean?"

But it was too late. Dean had already run out of the front door and into the night.

Cas ran up to the still open door and looked out.

"Dean!"

He didn't see Dean anywhere. The street was quiet, only the sound of wind rustling through the trees could be heard.

_Dean?_

* * *

**TBC**

A/N: Hope you enjoyed it! Reviews are always appreciated. Let me know what you thought about the chapter!


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10! Sorry for any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes :D

A big thank you for all of the reviews! They keep me going :3

**Disclaimer:** Still own nothing!

Happy reading! :3

* * *

**WHERE THERE'S A WILL (Ch. 10)**

Dean navigated through the night with precision. He had always been told to be aware of his surroundings, so he knew when to turn and where as he darted through the sleepy town.

As soon as Dean made it back to his house, he ran up the stairs. Tears were running down his face. Why did he have to be so stupid? How could he just flip out on Cas and Michael like that? When Dean reached his bedroom he slumped down onto the bed, fidgeting anxiously with the hem of his shirt. Thoughts began racing through his mind. He repeatedly hit the side of his head with his balled up fists out of frustration.

_Stupid, worthless. _

Dean couldn't sit still. He was wound up tightly, a jittery bundle of energy. He couldn't think straight. He stood from the bed and began to pace around his room. He glanced at the worn alarm clock that sat near his bed. 8:38. He looked away and kept pacing.

It was 1:04 in the morning and Dean was still walking around his room restlessly. He couldn't sleep. It was like his brain refused to shut off. Hateful words and images flashed through his mind over and over again, as if on a reel. Everything was too much, just too much. He felt like he was suffocating. Cruel voices laughed at him in his head.

Dean looked over to his school bag where he'd been keeping his knife. He had told himself it was just for protection, a precaution. Living the life that he and his father did had taught Dean to always be prepared. But Dean knew the real reason. He knew why he checked to make sure the knife was still there every morning and every evening. He always knew.

He crossed the room in two swift steps and dug around until he found what he was looking for. He didn't even bother going to the bathroom. He needed this, and he needed it now.

He yanked up the sleeve of his shirt until a long span of deeply scarred skin could be seen.

He picked up the sharp knife and began to slice into his arm.

Angry new cuts began to mark, began to paint Dean's arm in a vivid and cruel crimson. He couldn't think, couldn't see, couldn't hear. All he knew, all he could _feel_ was the blade as it dug deeper and deeper into his skin. Dean broke out into a cold sweat and began to breathe heavily. Dean could still hear the voices, mocking him, taunting him. _More...m-more. _Blood began running down his arm at an alarming rate.

What would it take for the malicious voices to finally leave him, to grant him peace?

When would these crimson tears finally be enough?

Blood began to drip from his arm forming a small puddle on the floor beneath him, but Dean was too far gone. It was like he'd shut the rest of the world out as he lost himself in the self-inflicted pain, the delicious agony that trapped him, that freed him. Time simply stopped existing. Dean firmly held on to the unforgiving blade like a life raft as unceasing waves of pain washed over him.

Five long minutes later, Dean finally stopped. He looked down at his arms. Blood was everywhere.

_No, no._

Dean felt dizzy. He quickly stood. Black dots filled his line of vision. He shakily made his way to the bathroom where he could clean himself up. Once there, he held thick pads of gauze he'd found under the sink to press over the ragged and torn flesh of his arm.

_Please. _

It took awhile, but finally he had stopped the bleeding. He let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding.

_Whoa._

It had been a close call. Dean wasn't usually so reckless. He looked around the bathroom. It looked like the scene of a murder. Dean winced and began cleaning the small space, throwing away all evidence of what had happened before drunkenly making his way back to his bedroom. Dean collapsed onto the bed. The voices were gone, and the exhausted teen was now surrounded by complete and utter silence. He closed his eyes and let himself be consumed by the empty darkness of unconsciousness.

* * *

For the next two weeks at school, Dean barely said anything to Cas. They still met in the mornings and sat together at lunch. Cas was even still giving him rides home. But now Dean walked with his head down, mumbled when he spoke, and rarely smiled anymore.

Cas felt miserable.

He felt that somehow, everything was his fault. Was asking Dean to stay for dinner too much? Was he mad at him now? And why did Dean think that he and Michael were going to hurt him? Nothing made sense.

It was a Tuesday and Dean and Cas were siting in Geometry, one of the classes they shared. Cas shifted in his seat. He kept making quick nervous glances at Dean's face. The blonde looked about as miserable as he felt. Cas sighed.

Dean was aware of how many times Cas looked over at him. After his freak out in the middle of his kitchen weeks ago, Dean was beyond embarrassed. Did Cas hate him? Did he want to stop being his friend now? He really wanted to make it up to him, but was too upset to bring the subject up. He absent mindedly scratched at the scars that were hidden under the long sleeves of his shirt. This really sucked.

The bell rang and the two slowly made their way to the cafeteria, neither saying a word. They sat down at their usual table in silence.

Ash, Jo, Steven, and Ana looked at each other. The uncomfortable silence between the pair was really starting to worry them.

"So…Cas," Ash was desperate to break the tension. "How is everything? You…you okay man?"

Cas just nodded his head. He was too wrapped up in his thoughts. He desperately wanted to make things right with Dean. It hurt to have his friend be so distant.

Dean wasn't doing much better. He was dying to talk to Cas. He stared blankly at the table.

"Alright, then." Ash began searching his mind for a new topic. "Um…hey!" He stood. "Check out my new shirt that my cousin got for me when she was in Roswell this past weekend!" The shirt was black with a picture of a disfigured looking alien on the front.

Steven started laughing. "Roswell as in Roswell, New Mexico? The place with the supposed UFO crash?" He was laughing even harder now.

"The one and only," Ash said with a toothy grin. He sat back down.

Jo looked disgusted. "What's wrong with it? Is that supposed to be its face or its ass? Seriously, what exactly am I looking at?" Ash gave her a mean look.

Suddenly, Cas turned abruptly to face Dean, and in the process, accidentally elbowed Ash sharply in the ribs. "Ouch Cas, what the hell!"

Cas didn't pay him any attention. He was focused on Dean. "Would you like to go hiking with me this weekend?" His words came out in a rush. "I know I only mentioned it once, but the weatherman said that the weather would be nice this weekend and...well, do you?" he sounded desperate. Intense blue orbs scanned Dean's face, silently pleading with him. _Please, please, please._

Dean was surprised by Cas' sudden outburst but was overjoyed to receive the invite. _So he doesn't hate me. _"Y-yeah…sure. That sounds like a good idea." Dean knew the likeliness of his father being home this weekend was slim. John now spent all of his time either hunting or at the nearest bar. Dean gave Cas a weak smile. The grin Cas gave back in return was exuberant. Both felt their day had just gotten a little bit better.

"Great! I'll come by to pick you up early this Saturday…if that's okay?" Dean nodded his head. "Okay, then how does about 6:30 sound? I know that's really early but it would probably be best if we got an early start." Dean told Cas that 6:30 would be fine. He was used to waking up early and didn't mind the time at all. The bell rang overhead and the two began walking out of the cafeteria together, Cas talking excitedly to Dean as they walked. The rest of the table just stared after them in complete confusion.

"What the hell was that?" Ash was still upset over being elbowed.

"Oh, chill alien boy. At least they seem happy again." Jo had an amused look on her face.

Ash smiled to himself. Well, at least there was that.

* * *

**TBC**

A/N: Ooooh a hiking adventure ;3 Wonder what will come of that?

Tell me what you thought of the chapter!


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11! Sorry for any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors! And a HUGE 'thank you' to all that took the time to review! It means a lot!

I'm not all that familiar with hiking, so if there is anything in this chapter that seems off…that's why! Lol please don't hate me!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything!

Hope you like it!

* * *

**WHERE THERE'S A WILL (Ch. 11)**

It was Friday evening and Dean was busy packing all of the neccessary things for his hike with Cas in the morning. He had gone hiking before with his father, so he had a good idea of what he would need. Even though the times he'd gone hiking before were all hunting related, he never felt nervous. But for some reason, Dean felt more trepidation toward this simple hike with Cas than any other hike he'd spent hunting down the supernatural.

Would Cas bring up that night back in his kitchen?

The kind-hearted teen hadn't brought up the events of that night _yet, _but it didn't mean that he _wouldn't_. Dean sighed.

When Saturday morning finally came, Dean was even more uneasy. He woke up before the sun and got dressed quickly. He was waiting and fully ready to go when he heard light rapping on the front door. Grabbing his hiking gear and ball cap, he answered the door.

"Hey, De-" Cas stopped himself as he noticed Dean's backpack and hiking boots. "Oh. I didn't know that you had hiked before." He held up a new and expensive looking hiking backpack. "I had brought some extra gear for you." Cas placed the backpack on the ground with a shrug. "So, are you ready to go?" He offered Dean a light and easygoing smile that met his eyes. Dean nodded shyly before following Cas toward the car, locking the front door on his way out.

* * *

The ride over to where they would be hiking took longer than Dean had expected, but the time spent in the car had been pleasant. Cas kept up a cheerful conversation as he drove, and Dean felt all of the apprehension that he had been feeling earlier melt away. It was getting lighter outside, the gray-black sky giving way to the soft blue of early morning. By the time they reached their desired location, the sun was already beginning to peek over the horizon, and with it came warmer color tones. Dean glanced at the clock on the dashboard. It was a little after seven. Cas and Dean both stepped out of the car, grabbing their things on the way out.

When Dean closed his door, he accidentally shut it on the end of his backpack strap. Cas was already on Dean's side of the car and noticed the shy teen struggling. They both reached for the car's door handle at the same time in an effort to release the strap, Cas' warm hand brushing against Dean's. Dean blushed and dropped his hand, quickly looking away. Once he was freed, they faced the beautiful landscape that lay before them. Enormous trees loomed over the earth, most as tall as buildings, some even taller. "This way," Cas said softly as he began walking toward a narrow footpath that led into the shady wood.

They had been walking for only about twenty minutes, but Dean was already feeling the calming effects of the quiet forest. It was so much different than when he'd hiked with his father. He let his mind slow as he lost himself in the gentle sounds of birds calling to one another high up in the trees, in the soft fluttering of wings, in the fragrant wind that blew a refreshing coolness across his face. When he looked up, he could see little bits of blue sky peeking between the leaves. The weatherman had been right: it really was a gorgeous day.

The footpath had turned a bit wider and now Cas and Dean were walking side by side. Cas looked over toward the hunter from time to time over the course of the trail. Dean's face was relaxed, his golden hair reflecting the light that occasionally broke through the dense leafy canopy. His emerald eyes seemed even greener with all of the foliage that surrounded them. Cas had seen the serenity that seemed to soften Dean's features only once before; when Dean had been sleeping on the couch next to him that day in the auditorium. It seemed so long ago. His gentle expression left butterflies in Cas' stomach. They walked on together in an easy and comfortable silence.

They had been walking for about two hours before Cas thought that they should take a break. He approached a wide and flat boulder that had thick spongy moss covering its lower half and sat down. Dean sat next to him. Cas reached for his canteen of water and took a few big gulps before offering it to Dean.

Dean had brought his own water with him, but took the canteen anyway. He held it up to his lips and took a deep drink. Cas stared as a few droplets of water escaped his lips and ran down his throat before disappearing down his shirt, leaving a small trail of wetness. Cas swallowed. Green eyes met his. "S-sorry, I kind of drank a lot," Dean said as he handed Cas his canteen back. "Not a problem, I brought a lot of water with me. So, have you rested enough?" Dean nodded his head. They stood and resumed their walking.

It was approaching midday and the pair was beginning to get hungry. Cas had really wanted to show Dean his favorite spot before they stopped for lunch so they continued to walk for a little ways more. When he heard running water, he knew they were close. He led them a bit off of the trail and through the dense plant life before he stopped in front of a particularly large and leafy plant. He looked over at Dean with a bright smile on his face. "This is my favorite part of the forest," he said before holding up one of the leaves of the plant so Dean could walk through. Once he did, he immediately stopped where he stood. "Cas…"

The dense forest broke away to a small and lush cove, jagged stone high around them, partially encasing the space in a half circle with water falling over its steep edge. Flowers bloomed alongside the waterfall, vivid yellow, blue and pink. The water fell into a deep and crystalline pool, sharp blue sky reflecting across its glassy surface. Pale sand circled close around it.

"Amazing isn't it?" Dean could feel Cas close behind him, warm breath tickled his ear. "It's beautiful, Cas." Dean said in an awed whisper. Cas walked forward to sit in the soft sand near the edge of the pool of water. He motioned for Dean to sit by him. Dean complied.

Cas began removing the food he had packed in his backpack. He handed Dean a carefully wrapped sandwich before the hunter could even reach into his bag to take out one his own. Instead of turning it down, he held the slightly warm sandwich in his hand. Cas squirted some hand sanitizer into the palm of his hand and offered the small bottle to Dean before unwrapping his sandwich and digging in.

Dean ate his sandwich in silence, still taking in the gorgeous scenery. It almost didn't feel real. He munched thoughtfully. The soft woosh of water as it rushed down the waterfall was soothing.

After a few minutes of peaceful silence, Cas looked over at Dean. He took a deep breath before he spoke.

"Dean?" Dean turned his head to look at Cas. "Were…were you mad at me over what happened at my house a couple weeks ago?" He had to know. Blue eyes looked at Dean sadly.

The young hunter swallowed his bite of sandwich before answering. "N-no…I wasn't mad at you," Dean really didn't want to talk about this but knew it had to come up sooner or later, "I…guess I was mad at m-myself…and embarrassed." Dean frowned down at his sandwich.

"What happened that night Dean? You thought me and Michael were going to hurt you. You really scared us…you were absolutely terrified." Dean winced at the memory. Okay he _really _didn't want to talk about this.

"It's nothing." Dean's voice came out softly, dejected.

"Dean…"

Green eyes so filled with pain met his eyes.

Cas suddenly felt that he didn't have it in his heart to keep pressing the issue. Today was meant to be a fun day. He didn't want to ruin it for his friend. "I…I'm glad that you weren't angry with me." He let the matter drop. Dean just gave Cas a grateful smile before staring back down at his sandwich. He'd suddenly lost his appetite. It wasn't until he saw movement out of the corner of his eye that he looked up again to find that Cas had taken his shoes and socks off. He dug his feet into the pale sand.

"The sand is really warm. Try it." Dean placed his sandwich in his lap before taking off his hiking boots and socks as well.

Cas was right. The sand was warm and soft between Dean's toes.

"It's kind of hot." Cas noted as he looked up at the sun that was now shining directly overhead. "Would you like to go for a swim?" He gestured toward the pool of water. "We could just swim in our shorts. The sun will dry us off in no time."

Dean panicked. He couldn't let Cas see the scars on his arms.

And it wasn't only the scars that worried him.

He swallowed nervously. "N-no that's okay. I'm fine." Cas looked a little defeated. "You could swim, if y-you want," Dean quickly amended.

Cas really wanted to go swimming but couldn't stand the thought of leaving Dean to sit and bake in the sun. "Would you be willing to at least dip your feet in?" He had a feeling that Dean's objection to swimming had something to do with why he always dressed so warmly. Maybe Dean was just shy?

Dean contemplated for a minute.

"Y-yeah…sure."

The water _did_ look tempting. He placed the rest of his sandwich that was still partially in its wrapping before he walked over to the water's edge. He began to wade in the shallows of the clear pool. The cold water felt amazing on his skin. When the water hit the middle of his calf, he stopped. When he looked down he could see where the shifty sand abruptly stopped just about a foot in front of him. He heard a splash and looked up to see that Cas had already abandoned his shirt and was swimming lazily in the dark water with graceful strokes, hair glistening. He swam near the waterfall for a minute before coming back over to where Dean was. He had a mischievous smile on his face. It worried Dean.

"Cas?"

Suddenly, a cold spray of water met Dean's middle and part of his face. As he blinked away the wetness, he heard soft laughter. Cas had splashed him. The innocent look on Cas' face pushed Dean over the edge and he began to laugh himself. The grin on his face was kid-like as every trace of nervousness and sadness was washed away. Cas smiled hugely at the sight of it. He'd never seen Dean so…carefree.

Dean bent down and quickly splashed Cas fully in the face. Cas returned the splash with one of his own. Back and forth like children, they served each other with a face full of water. Unknowingly, Dean inched closer and closer toward the edge of the sandbank.

Dean was getting ready to splash Cas again, when all of a sudden, he lost his footing and slipped off of the edge. Cas was shocked when he quickly disappeared under the water.

Silence.

"Dean?"

All of the splashing had stirred up the sand and made the water cloudy. Cas tried to make out his form.

Under the water Dean was frantic. He kicked and kicked, finally breaking the surface with a panicked gasp. He couldn't even call out for help. Water ran down the back of his throat and into his lungs painfully.

"Dean!" Cas shouted, realizing finally why Dean had chosen not to swim with him earlier.

He couldn't.

_Dean._

Cas dove down into the water, blindly reaching out for any part of Dean he could hold on to. When he touched what felt like an arm, he grabbed it and pulled upwards. Once he was above the water he yanked Dean up the rest of the way, and not bothering to wait to catch his breath, took a firm grip of Dean's upper body and began swimming backwards toward the soft and dry sand near the water's edge. He gently lay Dean on his back.

Once on land, Dean began to sputter and cough violently. "De-…" Cas was out of breath. He coughed once. _Dean._ "Are…are you okay?" Cas asked, relieved that he was still breathing and conscious. Dean had scared the crap out of him. The flaxen haired hunter just nodded his head vehemently, eyes clenched shut as he continued to cough up bits of water. "It's okay, you're okay," Cas said as he placed a hand on Dean's chest directly over his heart. "In and out, in and out, come on Dean, breathe. Yes, that's it. Slow and steady." Cas felt as Dean's heart rate began to slow from its chaotic and irregular beat into a steadier rhythm. His chest began to rise and fall more normally. He finally opened his eyes to look up at Cas.

"So…can't swim I take it?" Cas asked Dean softly.

There was nothing funny about this moment. Nothing funny about it at all. But Dean couldn't help it; he began to laugh. It was shaky and sounded a bit off, but it was laughter nonetheless.

Cas looked at Dean in confusion at first, his head tilted curiously to the side as if in question before he began to laugh too, genuine and warm. The sound of their laughter reverberated lively in the small cove, the happy echoes reaching toward the sky. Dean's sides began to hurt, but he continued to laugh and laugh, the sound of Cas' laughter driving him toward hysteria.

Life is just like that sometimes.

* * *

After they were done laughing, Cas lie back in the sand alongside Dean to soak in the sun's warm rays, skin almost touching.

As he let the healing light wash over him, Dean looked up at the cloudless sky. The vivid blue reminded him of Cas. He turned his head to look at the raven-haired teen.

Cas' eyes were closed, a slight smile on his lips. His hair was still damp and even more disheveled than it normally was. His face was peaceful, his usual expression, and his pale skin looked luminous in the bright light. Dean's eyes wandered, leaving Cas' face and traveling downward to his still shirtless torso. Smooth skin led down to a flat and lightly toned abdomen. His pants hung low on his slim hips, half crescents that projected slightly under his fair skin. Cas was…

_Beautiful. _

Wait, what?

Dean swallowed and quickly looked back up to Cas' face. He couldn't tell if he was asleep or if he was awake. "Cas?" he called softly. Cas' eyes suddenly opened and looked directly at Dean, deep blue pools that held small crystals of lighter blue closer to his pupils. Dean took in a quiet breath, just staring into them. He felt he could see into Cas' soul. He continued to stare.

Suddenly realizing how long he'd been staring without saying anything, Dean looked away and blushed. "I…uh…didn't know if you were asleep or not. S-sorry."

"'s fine." Cas murmured as he closed his eyes again. Dean faced the sky again. A light breeze blew over them.

They continued to lie on the warm sand in silence.

* * *

About an hour later, they decided to call it quits for the day. It was about two o'clock in the afternoon and the hike back to the car would take about four hours. Cas put back on his shirt and they both gathered up their things. Dean spared one last look at the beautiful cove before following Cas back into the dense forest.

When they got back to the car, both teens were exhausted and sore. They drove away in a companionable silence.

The drive back into town went by quickly and it wasn't long until Cas pulled up in front of Dean's house.

"Today was a lot of fun. We should do this again, soon." Cas looked over at Dean. "I guess I'll see you Monday." He looked sad, like he didn't want the day to end.

"Yeah. I had a lot of fun with you too. S-see you Monday." Dean slowly got out of the car. He was shut the door and began to walk up to the front porch of his house.

"Dean?" Cas called suddenly. Dean turned to look at him.

"Um…I…" Cas paused and looked at Dean for a long moment. The sound of crickets chirping the only noise that filled the quiet street.

"See…see you Monday," he said again, finally. Dean could have sworn he saw the other teen blush. It was too dark to tell. He waved at him before disappearing inside of the house. Cas sat there for a minute, staring at the closed front door. The trees rustled in the late evening breeze.

_Good night, Dean._

* * *

**TBC**

A/N: Ahhh! That is all :3

Let me know what you thought of the chapter!


	12. Chapter 12

New chapter :D ! Thanks for all of the kind reviews! They really do make a difference!

A special thanks to my sister for helping me with scene ideas. You're the best!

**Disclaimer: **Still…own...nada

Hope you like it!

* * *

**WHERE THERE'S A WILL (Ch.12)**

Dean was anxious to get to school on Monday. He had genuinely enjoyed his time spent with Cas the past weekend, and was looking forward to seeing him again.

_Cas._

Thinking about the kind teen made Dean's heart race. He got dressed quickly before he stepped out into another warm Texas day.

When he finally made it to the school, he walked over to where they met up in the mornings and quickly spotted the blue-eyed teen. When Cas noticed Dean approaching, he smiled brightly at him as if he was happy to see him too.

"Hello, Dean." His eyes sparkled in the brightness of the sunny day.

The sound of Cas' low voice made a pleasant heat climb up Dean's spine. "Hey, Cas." Dean smiled wider than Cas had ever remembered him smiling before. Cas felt a small thrill of happiness at the sight.

The walk to their first period class together was accompanied by pleasant conversation. When they got to English they sat in their usual seats, Cas sitting in the chair in front of Dean like on the first day. The bell rang overhead as the last few stragglers shuffled their way to their seats. Ms. Topal wasted no time starting class.

"Alright class," she said enthusiastically, "We will be doing peer revision on the rough drafts that you all should have brought with you to class today. Since we've already discussed what all you should have in mind as you edit your partner's paper, you can go ahead and get started. We will be doing this all class period, so take your time." As soon as she returned to her desk, the class began to move around the room to sit near their pre-assigned partners.

Cas turned in his desk so that he was fully facing Dean, handing him his paper with a friendly smile as Dean handed over his.

Cas' paper was good. His ideas were clear and solid and the flow of his paragraphs made it an easy read. Dean only caught a few spelling errors here and there. It wasn't long before he was done reading and editing it. He patiently waited while Cas finished editing his.

"I really enjoyed your paper," Cas said as he turned around a few minutes later. "I only caught a few things that needed fixing." He handed Dean back his paper, Dean giving Cas' back in return. Dean grimaced as he skimmed his. _A few?_ That was a lot of red. Cas noticed his reaction. "Really, it was good." Cas rose from his seat to stand over Dean. His hand rested on the desk for support as he leaned down closely to Dean, standing over him. He spoke softly into his ear, his closeness causing goose bumps to trickle down Dean's spine. "Like here. All you need to do is move this sentence a bit earlier in the paragraph," he said as he demonstrated with the tip of his finger, following the line he had drawn toward the top of the paragraph. The heat radiating from Cas' body was intoxicating; Dean found himself leaning into it. As Dean breathed in, the scent of aftershave and fresh smelling soap flooded his senses, making him dizzy.

"Dean?" Warm breath tickled his ear. Dean cleared his throat, "Y-yeah, okay. T-thank you Cas."

Cas went back to his seat, taking all of his addictive warmth with him.

Dean sighed.

Later on as they walked to lunch together, Dean noticed how close Cas was walking next to him. Their hands brushed a few times, triggering deep blushes from Dean. _Snap. Out. Of. It._ When they sat next to each other at the lunch table, Cas' smooth arm repeatedly brushed against Dean's, the friction extremely distracting. Dean kept his head down. When the last bell finally rang and they were leaving Gym together to go to the parking lot, Dean avoided Cas' eyes.

Once in the car, Dean forced his eyes to strictly stare straight ahead, not bothering to glance at the scenery as it whizzed past. He was doing a good job when Cas abruptly turned to ask, "Would you like to come over to my house today?"

Dean felt his heart stop momentarily before starting back up with a painful thud, beating in a new and erratic rhythm.

"Um…" he quickly thought it over. Would John be home? Not likely, Dean thought to himself, not with John's near constant M.I.A status.

"S-sure."

He could see Cas smiling out of the corner of his eye as he turned around and began driving toward his house.

* * *

When they arrived at Cas' house, the dark-haired teen led them up the stairs toward his bedroom. Once there, Cas flopped down on his bed and kicked his shoes off. Dean awkwardly sat next to him on the edge of the bed. For some reason, Dean felt nervous.

"So, what would you like to do?" Cas asked casually. Dean simply shrugged, looking down. While studying the patterns in the floorboards, he noticed a book lying open on the floor. He timidly reached to pick it up, glancing at the cover. It was a book of poetry.

"You like to read poetry?" Dean asked, finally looking up at Cas who seemed to be slightly embarrassed.

"Um…yeah, actually. I really enjoy it. It's just…calming to me." He gingerly took the book out of Dean's hands, staring down at the cover. "Do you like poetry?"

"I've n-never really read poetry before. Just the kid poems that everybody had some teacher read to them in school when they were little."

Cas looked at Dean thoughtfully. "Would you like me to read you a poem?"

Dean studied Cas for a second.

"Sure."

Dean was…intrigued by Cas. He wanted to know more about him. This was a part of Cas, what he loved. Dean wanted to experience it.

Cas opened the book and began flipping through the pages, searching for the poem he had in mind. When he found what he was looking for, he glanced at Dean once more before he began reading.

"She walks in beauty, like the night, of cloudless climes and starry skies. And all that's best of dark and bright, meet in her aspect and her eyes…"

As Cas read the poem, Dean found himself listening to the rise and fall of his voice. Low and soft, the sound of it made Dean feel intoxicated, entranced. Blue eyes occasionally met his, causing the hunter to quickly look away. But his eyes always wandered back, back to Cas' face, to his familiar disheveled black hair, to his serious, deep blue eyes that were rimmed with thick lashes. His gaze drifted to the pale pink of his lips, to the sharpness of his defined jaw. Soulful ultramarine eyes met Dean's eyes again, this time resting there, staring back. Without knowing it, Dean began slowly inch his way closer…

"…a mind at peace with all below," Cas said softly, whispering as he began to inch forward toward Dean as well, reciting the rest from memory, "…a heart whose love is…" Green eyes pierced through Cas' soul, "…innocent."

The silence that fell over the room only intensified the moment; the only thing disturbing it was the sound of their soft breathing. Cas continued to hold the hunter's gaze, eyes locked. Dean's warm breath lightly blew over Cas' face. They were so close. So painfully close. Cas could almost _taste_ Dean. He leaned forward until his lips were only inches away from Dean's, his breath softly feathering across his skin. He lifted his hand to cup the side of Dean's face before traveling upward, running a hand through his light hair causing the teen to shudder. Dean sighed, sending more of his smell, his _scent_ across Cas' face. Cas leaned impossibly closer.

_Just…just…_

"Cas? You here kiddo?" The sudden sound of Michael calling from downstairs broke the pair out of their trance as they flew apart from each other.

"Yeah…just…just a minute." Cas' voice was high and shaky. He looked over at Dean, eyes wide.

"Dean…I…I'm…" Michael suddenly appeared in the doorway.

"Ca- oh, hey Dean! I didn't realize you were here," Michael said with a wide grin. "I was wondering when you'd come back over for a visit, Cas can't seem to stop talking about you," Michael said with a small chuckle.

For some reason, Dean felt a twinge of happiness. _Cas talks about me?_

Cas' cheeks burned with embarrassment. "What…what do you want Michael?"

"Eh, not much. Just wanted to know what you wanted for dinner. Will Dean be eating with us?" he asked, his voice hopeful. They both looked over toward Dean.

Dean didn't know if staying would be such a good idea. Cas seemed so flustered. "T-that's okay. I really should be getting home."

Cas looked a little hurt, but didn't try to press Dean to stay. "I'll drive you."

* * *

The tension in the car was thick. Cas kept his eyes on the road while Dean kept his glued to his lap as they drove in complete silence.

Uncomfortable would be an understatement.

When Cas came to a stop in front of Dean's house, neither of them moved or said anything. They sat in awkward silence.

Cas couldn't stand it. "Dean, I-"

Dean interrupted him by placing a shy hand gently on his shoulder. Cas involuntarily trembled at the touch. So. Not. Helping.

"I'll see y-you tomorrow, okay? Bye, Cas." Dean got out of the car and went straight inside the house, not looking back once.

Cas could still feel the weight of Dean's hand on his shoulder. He looked at the door of the old house one last time before driving away, the deep feeling of remorse eating at his heart.

What had he done?

* * *

**TBC**

A/N: Muhahahahaaa :3


	13. Chapter 13

Another chapter! Hooray :3 Hope you all enjoy it! Sorry for any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes!

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing!

* * *

**WHERE THERE'S A WILL (Ch. 13)**

School for the rest of the week was…interesting. Cas was surprised -and a little embarrassed- by his actions in his bedroom. Well, _lack_ of action. But he had almost…he had been so close to…

_Ugh._

Needless to say, things were still kind of…awkward.

But for some reason, Cas kept inviting Dean back to his house.

And for some reason, Dean kept accepting his invitations.

Even with the new uncomfortable tension between the two, they still enjoyed each other's company. That, and Dean would be willing to be anywhere other than stuck in his house alone. John was still more or less out of the picture, but just being inside the house was enough to make Dean anxious. Yeah, awkward-time-at-Cas'-house trumped lie-in-wait-for-John any day of the week.

It was about a month and a half after the whole…incident, and the tension still persisted. The casual brushing of skin as they passed each other in the hallway at school, the lingering touches, the intense gazes. Cas had a hard time resisting the urge to touch Dean whenever he saw him, and Dean had to keep his eyes glued to the floor just to keep from gawking at Cas.

Fabulous.

The time they spent alone at Cas' house only made the situation worse. This is why whenever Cas invited Dean over, painful knots of apprehension would twist in his stomach. And when Cas invited the blonde-haired teen over one lazy early fall day after school, the pain was no different.

It had been raining a lot that week and puddles and wet globs of earth littered the streets. On the way to his house, Cas drove through a particularly large puddle, dirty water splashing all over his brother's car. When they finally pulled up to his house, Cas walked around the once spotless Mazda to inspect. The car was filthy.

"Great," Cas muttered under his breath. Michael would have a fit if he saw how gross his car was. The dark-haired teen looked up at the sky, contemplating. _The weather _is _nice today._

As if reading Cas' mind, Dean asked him, "Do you want t-to wash it?"

Cas looked guilty. "Are you sure you don't mind?"

Dean just shook his head with a small smile. "Just show me where the buckets are."

With a grateful smile in return, Cas let up one of the garage doors in search of all that they would need. He walked back to the driveway with two buckets filled with cleaning supplies, one in each hand. Placing one down in front of Dean, he went to the side of the house to get the hose. Once both buckets were filled with sudsy water and the car sprayed down, they both plunged their sponges in the cold water and got to work. Dean's hands quickly became numb after dunking his sponge in his bucket a few times. The cool weather outside didn't help. He shivered briefly as he dunked his sponge in the water once again.

Cas noticed his small reflex to the cold. He stood perfectly still as he began to daydream different scenarios in which he would help warm Dean up.

_Hmm._

He didn't notice Dean approach him with the hose, a sly grin on his face. Cold water blasted right in Cas' face and down his shirt. "Wha…hey!" Dean began to laugh as he ran away from Cas, hose still in hand. Cas grabbed one of the sopping wet sponges and aimed it for the back of Dean's head. Icy cold water ran down the hunter's back. Another shout of laughter. He sprayed Cas again in retaliation, Cas running after him now with a full bucket of soapy water in his hand.

"Come back here! Dean!" Laughter colored his tone. He soon gave up on chasing Dean around with the bucket -most of the water sloshed out of it and onto himself anyway- in favor of trying to take the hose out of Dean's hand instead. The chase ended with Dean's back against the slick Mazda, Cas pressed up against him. Water continued to soak them both as they struggled for possession. Dean suddenly stopped struggling for the hose, his arms pinned above his head, breathing heavily with a large grin on his face. "O-okay…y-you…w-win," he said breathlessly. Cas didn't say anything. "Cas?" Cas continued to press up against Dean's body, his breath coming in pants, face close to Dean's, eye's blown with want. Dean swallowed.

Dean's hair was completely soaked, his hair slicked back and eyelashes heavy. His navy shirt clung to his torso; the definition of his abs was clearly visible. It was hard to ignore the leanness, the hardness of his sinewy body. Dean's arms were still pinned above his head. He looked so…so…

Cas began to inch forward.

Dean felt his breathing speed up as Cas began to lean his face, closer, closer. Blue eyes pierced Dean through to his core. Cas' lips were millimeters from his, tempting, teasing. Hazy thoughts swirled in his head as Cas closed his eyes and tilted his head. Dean felt his heart stop as their lips finally touched. Soft and light, Cas' lips brushed over his slowly, erasing all thoughts from his mind. Cas' tongue lightly trailed over his bottom lip, tasting him. Dean felt like his blood was boiling as he parted his lips, letting him in. The kiss deepened as their tongues began to dance over one another. Cas sighed softly, releasing his grip on Dean's arms as he skimmed his hands over Dean's sides, across his stomach, feeling the tight muscles of his abdomen. Dean ran his fingers through Cas' wet hair, bringing his face closer. He had to have more of him, more of this moment. Cas was slender beneath his hands.

When they finally broke away, Cas rested his forehead against Dean's as he waited for his breathing to calm. Birds chirped distantly as little puffs of Dean's sweet breath blew over his skin. After a minute, he backed away from the hunter to give him space. An awkward silence fell between them.

Cas looked ashamed, embarrassed. "I…I'm sorry Dean…I…I…" _I got carried away, I shouldn't have done it, what the HELL is wrong with me. _Gentle fingers over Cas' lips stopped him. Cas looked up to study Dean's face. The green-eyed teen seemed happy, calm, at peace with what just happened. Dean smiled at Cas shyly before stepping toward him, eyes gauging his reaction as he pressed his lips lightly against his. He wrapped his arms around Cas' slim waist, his head resting on the crook of his neck, breathing him in.

_Cas._

Cas smiled as he held him gently.

* * *

Later on that evening when Cas pulled up to Dean's house to drop him off, the warm buzzing sensation that seemed to pulse through Dean's whole body intensified. He looked back at Cas before he got out of the car, suddenly appearing nervous. _Should I…?_

Cas leaned forward and planted a chaste kiss on his lips, deciding for him. "See you tomorrow, Dean," he said softly. The expression on his face was tender.

Dean smiled hugely for the hundredth time that day. "Goodnight, Cas."

As he lie in bed that night, his thoughts kept floating back to Cas. How he smiled. How he talked. His kindness. Cas was just...

_Amazing._

Yeah…amazing.

* * *

**TBC**

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! Let me know what you thought of it!


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14! And for everyone that reviewed the last chapter: thank you sooo much!

Sorry for the wait, I've had a lot of things due lately and it's been hard to find time to write :(

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing supernatural related!

Hope you like it!

* * *

**WHERE THERE'S A WILL (Ch. 14)**

As Dean approached the school the next morning, he half wondered if he had imagined what had happened the day before. It was all so surreal, dreamlike. _How could someone like Cas like _me?

But as he approached the kind-hearted teen, all of his doubts were erased as he was greeted with a warm hug. Dean smiled as he breathed in Cas' scent.

"Hello, Dean." Cas' energy was soothing and energizing at the same time. They broke apart, but Cas still remained close.

"Hey, Cas." Dean's smile was bright as he spoke. He had expected to feel awkward the next time he saw the ever-smiling teen. He didn't expect to feel so…good.

When the bell rang to dismiss them to their first period class they walked closely together, side by side. Dean felt a strong urge to touch Cas, to hold his hand, but refrained. He was unsure of how Cas would respond. Dean's eyes stayed glued to the back of Cas' head all through English and he kept sneaking glances at him in Geometry when he thought he wasn't looking. Cas caught him staring more than once and gave him a bright smile each time, amusement painting his expression. Dean, embarrassed, smiled back in response. Everything felt so..._right._ It was nice to have someone that he felt cared for him. He didn't realize how much he'd needed this until the intensity of it seemed to overwhelm him. He felt silly for getting so attached so soon, but Cas was now like this irreplaceable warmth in his cold and empty life. Everything seemed brighter with him around.

When the school day was over and they were heading for the parking lot, Cas didn't even have to ask if Dean wanted to come over. They simply got in the car and drove to his house, a comfortable silence settling over them. When they pulled up to Cas' house, the slightly smaller teen gave Dean a warm smile before leaning over and placing a soft kiss on his cheek. Dean looked down at his feet.

"I wish you wouldn't do that," came a soft, low voice. Dean looked up at Cas with obvious confusion on his face before looking down again, shying away from the intensity of Cas' stare.

"W-what?" Dean asked softly, still looking down. He felt smooth, warm hands cup his face and bring his chin upward until he was looking directly into Cas' eyes.

"_That_," Cas whispered gently. He closed the gap between them and lightly brushed his lips against Dean's. Dean relaxed at the delicateness of Cas' touch and briefly nodded his head at Cas' request, a small grin on his face.

They got out of the car after that, and headed for Cas' room. Once there, Cas rummaged through a stack of CD's that sat on his desk before placing one inside of a small CD player. He turned up the volume and headed toward his window. He opened it and glanced back at Dean as in invitation before stepping out onto the roof, helping Dean out once he had a good footing just like he did all those weeks ago. Cas reclined back on the roof and looked up at Dean with a playful smile as he waited for Dean to get settled on the roof beside him.

Dean felt he could never get accustomed to the beautiful view. He scanned the horizon, looking over to the line of trees that sat at the far edge of the sky. He thought back to his hike with Cas, a smile painting over his features. His smile grew as he felt Cas skim his thumb softly over his cheek.

Dean relaxed into the touch as he lie back, soaking in the sun's warm rays.

* * *

They had been lying on the roof for a few hours, the window of Cas' room wide open so that they could hear the soft music that was playing from within. Cas was lightly stroking Dean's forehead, occasionally carding his fingers through his short hair as Dean looked up at the early evening sky. The temperature was steadily dropping and Dean shivered slightly when another gust of wind blew over him. Cas scooted closer until the long line of his body was right up against Dean's, the hunter's head now resting on the crook of his arm.

"Do you want to go back inside?" Cas ran his long fingers down the arm of Dean's light jacket.

"No…if that's okay. I just want to sit here for a little longer." Dean murmured.

Cas noticed how much easier it was for Dean to speak. After their brief kiss in the car, Dean was the most at ease he had ever seen him. Cas was beginning to suspect that Dean only had speech difficulties when he was anxious or upset. Dean only seemed truly comfortable when he was around Cas. Cas smiled to himself at that thought as he bent his head down until his nose was buried in Dean's hair. He breathed in the sweet scent and exhaled, his warm breath tickling across Dean's scalp causing the light-haired teen to shiver again. Cas held him closer.

When Dean heard the next song start he turned his head slightly to ask what exactly they had been listening to for the past few hours. The music continued to play sweetly in the background as Cas responded.

"It's some of my brother's compositions. For my birthday last year he gave me that CD and on it are all of my favorites."

Dean was in awe. "Wow. Your brother plays beautifully."

"Thank you," Cas said for his brother. "I'll be sure to let him know what you said."

An easy stillness fell over them again and Dean turned his attention back to the sky. Puffy billows scattered across the otherwise clear sky, softening the intensity of the blue canvas that stretched above them, the golden orb of the sun lightly warmed his face. Dean felt he could never get enough of the beauty of this day, of this moment. He took note of the position of the sun in the sky. Without meaning to, his thoughts suddenly shifted toward his father.

"Cas, what time is it?"

Cas moved a little so that he could glance down at his watch. "Um…it's a quarter till six." Cas felt Dean shift uneasily in his embrace. "You…you have to go?" He tried to keep the sadness out of his voice as he asked, but failed miserably. Dean just nodded his head and Cas reluctantly loosened his grip as he helped the other teen stand. On the drive over to Dean's house, Cas kept his eyes on the road, not really in the mood for talking. He didn't want the time they spent on the roof to end. Dean kept sneaking timid glances at his face and was a bit taken back to see the sadness that seemed to weigh the raven-haired teen down. Cas pulled up in front of Dean's house with a sigh. Dean leaned forward to plant a shy kiss on the corner of Cas' mouth and was surprised when Cas suddenly turned his face to deepen the kiss, his warm hand resting lightly on Dean's face. Dean gave Cas a bright smile as he stepped out of the car before suddenly stopping.

The impala.

He had been so distracted when they were pulling up, that he didn't notice his dad's car in the driveway. He felt his entire body tense at the sight.

"Dean? You okay?" Cas' concerned voice called from the shiny Mazda.

Dean turned to face Cas from where he stood on the front walk. "Y-yeah…I'll…uh…I'll see y-you tomorrow."

Cas felt uneasy at the sound of Dean's stuttering. Why was he suddenly so anxious? "Okay…" Cas sounded unsure. Dean remained standing on the front walk, obviously waiting for Cas to drive away before he would go inside. Cas offered the hunter a small smile before driving off. Once Dean was sure that Cas was gone, he turned back to face the house. He took a deep breath to collect himself before making his way to the front door, opening it slowly in anticipation.

In the dim light of the living room, John was sitting stiffly on the couch. Dean swallowed as he closed the door softly behind him. He began to shift from foot to foot uncomfortably. John icy stare seemed to pierce right through him.

"_Where the hell have you been_?" John asked, emphasizing each word. He rose from the couch and walked over to where Dean was standing by the door, towering over him, crowding him.

"I-I had an a-after school…I w-was…I-" Dean was suddenly cut off by John's iron grip on his throat, cutting off his air supply. Dean struggled to breathe, clutching anxiously at John's hand, trying to loosen its grip. John, still holding Dean by his throat, slammed the hapless teen's head back against the closed front door. Dean winced at the impact.

"_Don't. Lie. To. Me._" John's grip grew impossibly tighter. Dean's vision began to blur as he tried his best to hold on to his consciousness. Just when he thought he was going to pass out, John released his grip. Dean fell to the ground, clutching his now sore throat as he took in deep, broken breaths of life saving air, coughing and sputtering.

Dean thought up a lie quickly. "I-I…" more coughing, "I'm in t-the drama club at s-school. W-we have meetings…t-that's why I'm l-late." John seemed to accept this and Dean felt an overwhelming surge of relieve run through him. His father started walk away but quickly turned around to deliver a forceful kick into Dean's stomach. Dean gagged at the sudden blow, the contents of his stomach forcing their way out of his body and onto the wooden floor. Dean clutched his stomach, trying in vain to ease the intense pain.

"Clean that shit up." John muttered before flopping back onto the couch, opening a beer and quickly draining it before moving on to another.

"Y-yes sir." Dean whispered as he carefully limped around the bile -the pain in his stomach hindering his walking- and into the kitchen to get some cleaning supplies. Once the mess was cleaned, he went up the stairs into the bathroom so that he could rinse his mouth. He looked in the mirror at the unmistakable dark red hand print around his neck. Lifting his shirt he could already see the beginnings of a deep bruise on his stomach. Dean had to admit, it could have been a lot worse. John could have been drunk, and Drunk John was ten times worse than Sober John. Dean sighed as he pulled his shirt back down.

In spite of the slowly developing bruises, Dean couldn't help but smile to himself. Now with John thinking he would be having meetings after school with the drama department, he didn't have to worry about beating John home when he hung out with Cas.

_Perfect. _

Dean walked out of the bathroom feeling optimistic.

As Dean lie in bed that night, his thoughts -as usual- drifted to Cas. That afternoon on his roof had really been nice. Dean sighed contentedly as he rolled over on the hard mattress and quickly fell asleep.

On the other side of town, Cas sat up in his bed thinking of Dean. He wished that he could call him, but didn't know Dean's number. _I'll have to ask him for it tomorrow._

Cas sank lower into the nest of blankets that covered his bed. He thought back to the sudden rigidness of Dean's posture when he got out of his car. When Dean had turned to face him, pure terror filled his eyes. It made Cas' heart lurch at the sight. It was strangely familiar.

_Hm._

As Cas thought about it a little more, he suddenly knew why Dean's expression had been so familiar: Dean had worn the same expression back in his kitchen all those weeks ago when he had stayed over for dinner.

'…_don't, don't hurt me'_

What would make Dean say that?

Cas yawned deeply; it had been a long day. As he turned over to go to sleep, Dean's words played softly over and over again on the edges of his consciousness.

'_P-please, please, I-I'm s-sorry, don't, don't hurt me'_

_'Whoa, whoa, no one's going to hurt you...'_

Cas turned again, uneasily. His eyelids began to droop.

'_Dean?'_

Cas frowned as he finally submitted himself to sleep.

* * *

**TBC**

A/N: Hope you enjoyed the chapter! It could be a while before I update again, with finals and everything. But don't worry! I am fully committed to this story, I won't leave you hanging!

Let me know what you thought of the chapter!


	15. Chapter 15

New chapter! :3 Thank you all so much for the great reviews for the previous chapter! They really do mean a lot to me :)

Sorry for any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes!

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing supernatural related!

Hope you all enjoy the chapter :D

* * *

**WHERE THERE'S A WILL (Ch. 15)**

In the morning when Dean woke up, the first thing that he became aware of was the soreness of his neck and stomach. He was confused at first until the memory of what had happened the day before came back to him. _John._ Dean grimaced at the thought of his father as he slowly made his way to the bathroom to get ready for school.

Usually when Dean got up in the morning, John was either already gone or still asleep. That is why he was so surprised when the door to the bathroom suddenly opened just as he was reaching for the door knob. John was fully clothed and his hair was wet, a cloud of steam surrounding him. He glared down at Dean before a creepy smile came over his face. His eyes had an evil glint to them. "Oh, do you need the bathroom?" John's voice was mocking. Dean looked down at his feet.

_Please, please._ "Y-yes sir."

"Why didn't you say so?" John's voice was menacing. He suddenly grabbed Dean by the arm and yanked him into the bathroom. He turned the knob in the shower until it was all the way on hot. "You want to get clean, is that it?" John's voice came out in a frenzied rush, a delirious edge to it as began ripping Dean's clothes off of him. It wasn't long until Dean was wearing nothing but his boxers. While Dean stood terrified and half naked, shivering in the middle of the bathroom, John quickly rummaged under the bathroom sink. He held something in his hand, but Dean didn't get a chance to see it as John roughly picked him up and threw him into the shower. Dean fell back onto the hard tub, hitting his head along its edge. Pain overwhelmed his senses as scalding hot water burned his skin. As Dean looked up at his father he finally could see what it was that he held in his hand; it was the sponge that Dean sometimes used to clean the tub. One side of it was soft while the other side was rough like an S.O.S pad. John held the sponge so that the soft side was in his palm. _No._

"You want to get clean?" John pinned Dean's slight frame down so that the horrified teen couldn't get away as he began scrubbing the sponge across his skin, grinding it into his flesh until his skin tore. Dean hissed at the sudden pain. "P-please, p-please…" Hot water continued to shower down on the frightened teen, making the small cuts sting fiercely. All along his torso John scrubbed. " 'I'm worthless, I mean nothing', c'mon Dean, I want to hear you say it." Blood began to mix with the water in the tub. John threw the sponge behind him as he reached for the bar of soap, rubbing it along Dean's marred flesh. "Agggghhhh" It felt like Dean's skin was on fire. "I-I'm…w-worthless…" His blood turned the white bar of soap into a sickly pink. "I can't hear you Dean, I WANT TO HEAR YOU SAY IT!" Dean squirmed under his father's grip. "I-I'm worthless...ungghh...I m-mean n-nothing." John threw the bar of soap down into the tub, barely missing Dean's head before slapping the teen hard across his face. He leaned down until his mouth was right next to Dean's ear "That's. better." He smiled darkly at Dean before he stood and calmly walked out the bathroom. As soon as John was gone, Dean sat up and turned off the scorching hot water. His heart hammered in his chest as he gingerly clutched his sides. "Ah…ah…" Even the lightest touch hurt. When he brought his arms away he saw streaks of blood. He looked down at his stomach. Little scratches coated his entire torso, bleeding lightly in some spots, more heavily in others. Dean took in a ragged breath. That was...insane. He'd never known John to just snap like that.

He cleaned himself as best he could with the medical supplies he always had on hand before slowly getting dressed. He decided upon a sage green sweater that had a high collar, almost a turtle neck (to hide the light bruising on his neck from being choked the previous day), and blue jeans. He looked at himself one last time in the mirror before leaving the house.

Cas fidgeted anxiously in his usual spot outside of the school, waiting for Dean. He hadn't slept well the night before, images of Dean's terrified face haunting him even in his dreams. Something was_...off._ He was caught off guard when Dean suddenly appeared in front of him.

"H-hey, Cas." Dean said quietly, frowning as he noticed the dark circles under his eyes. "R-rough night?"

"It's nothing." Cas smiled half heartedly. He noticed that Dean was stuttering again. _Hmm._ Dean rose his hand to scratch the back of his head, the movement drawing attention to his neck. Cas' eyes zeroed in on the slightly discolored skin that was just barely visible over the collar of Dean's sweater. "Dean, what happened?" Cas was suddenly in Dean's face, long warm fingers lightly skimming the sensitive skin of his neck, gently tugging down at his collar. Dean involuntarily flinched away from Cas' soft touch.

"N-nothing. I s-slipped in the shower this morning…h-hit the side of the tub. I'll be f-fine."

A sick feeling twisted deeply in the pit of Cas' stomach. Something wasn't right. Dean saw the suspicion in Cas' eyes but thankfully the bell rang then. They walked to class in an uncomfortable silence.

* * *

All through the school day, that nagging feeling in the pit of Cas' stomach wouldn't leave him alone. That night in his kitchen played over and over again, relentlessly. When fifth period came -Gym- he was completely lost in his thoughts. That day Coach McLawson had them practicing serving tennis balls in pairs. He noncommittally hit the ball with his racket when it came flying his direction, his mind elsewhere.

'…_don't, don't hurt me…'__._

_Why _would Dean _say_ that?

Cas was abruptly brought back to reality as the tennis ball hit him directly in the face. _Ouch. _Dean immediately rushed over to him.

"Cas! Cas, I'm s-so sorry, are you okay?" Concerned green eyes scanned his face.

"Don't worry, it was just an accident." Cas' cheeks flamed, embarrassed. "I guess I wasn't paying much attention."

"Okay everybody!" Coach McLawson suddenly shouted to the gym full of teenagers, "That's it for today. You can go to locker rooms to get dressed now."

"I-I'm just going to h-help put up the equipment," Dean said to Cas, like he did every day. Cas had always figured that Dean was just too shy to change in front of everybody. "You sure you're okay?" Cas nodded and offered Dean a small smile before heading to the locker room to get dressed.

It wasn't until the locker room was completely empty that Dean finally went in to get changed. Cas sat in the bleachers as he waited for the hunter, letting his mind wander. He was broken out of his reverie when a loud noise came from within the locker room. _Dean._ Cas jumped down from the bleachers, rushing to the source of the sound. "Dean?" He quickly opened the door to the room and stepped inside. He saw Dean standing near his open locker, pulling his sweater over his head. Before he could fully pull his sweater down, Cas saw not only the dark bruise on Dean's stomach, but also the long jagged cuts that seemed to coat his skin. Cas was shocked. _What the hell? _Aware of Cas' presence, Dean quickly yanked his sweater down and briefly looked at Cas, panic in his eyes before his eyes shifted downward. The dark-haired teen quickly crossed the room. "Dean! What happened to your stomach?" Dean wouldn't meet Cas' eyes.

_Oh my..._

Realization made Cas feel sick. _No, no._ How could he not have known? "Dean...who...who did this to you?" Cas' voice was low and serious.

"It's…f-from this morning, in the shower." Dean refused to meet Cas' eyes. He knew the lie was pathetic, but felt like he had to protect his father. Besides, what would happen to him if people found out? No, Cas couldn't know.

"_Dean." _Cas gripped Dean by the shoulders. "_Who did this to you?"_ Dean broke away from Cas' grip, still looking at the ground. "_Nobody, _Cas. P-please, just drop it. Are y-you ready to go?" Dean quickly grabbed his backpack and books off of the floor-_must have been what fell_- and walked out of the locker room.

_Dean?_

Cas had to rush to keep up.

* * *

When they pulled up in Cas' driveway, Cas just sat there for a moment, looking down at his lap. They hadn't spoken since they left the school and the silence was becoming increasingly more uncomfortable. Dean nervously played with the hem of his sweater.

"Dean?" Cas' voice was quiet. Dean reluctantly looked over at the blue-eyed teen. Cas kept his head down. Dean swallowed. "Y-yeah, Cas?"

"You…you would tell me if something was wrong, right? If…if someone was hurting you?"

Dean's heart began to beat frantically in his chest. Cas finally looked up at him, blue eyes dark with some emotion Dean couldn't name. Dean nodded his head.

"No, Dean. I want to hear you say it." Cas' voice was still quiet, but full of authority.

_'...c'mon Dean, I want to hear you say it.'_

Dean shivered at the memory. "Y-yes." It came out barely a whisper.

Cas took a deep breath. "Then let me see your neck." He didn't know if he was ready to see his stomach again.

Dean froze. Part of him wanted Cas to know, needed him to know, wanted him to save him from his life, from his father. Every pore in his body screamed for this, wanted this, cried out for Cas. He just couldn't keep living this way. Dean closed his eyes as he nodded his head, letting that part of him, that piece of him that cried at night when no one else could hear, that part that needed to be helped, to be _loved,_ take over. He felt Cas' feather light touch on his neck, a caress, and held his breath as the collar of his sweater was pulled down. He heard Cas' sudden intake of breath. "Dean…" A whisper. Hot tears ran down Dean's face as an overwhelming feeling of shame washed over him.

_Cas, Cas. _

_Please..__._

Dean felt his heart break into a million pieces.

_Sammy. _

_My Sammy. _

His face became drenched in tears as he held back broken sobs.

_I'm so, so sorry. _

He suddenly felt tugging at the bottom of his sweater. Cool air caressed his skin as his stomach was exposed. Cas ran his hand down Dean's torso, causing him to shiver. "Dean…Dean." It sounded reverent, like a prayer. Dean clamped his eyes shut even tighter and clenched his jaw, grinding his teeth at the sound of Cas' voice. He felt Cas' warm breath on his stomach, felt his soft lips as he lightly brushed them across the dark bruise, as he gently kissed every cut. Dean trembled as more of the hot tears ran down his face, Cas' tenderness taking his breath away. He didn't want Cas to see him like this. To see him so…broken. He felt overwhelmed by intense emotion. He longed for his mother, for his brother. For the father John had once been. He longed for the life he used to have.

His brother, his father, his mother.

The fire.

'_Run Dean, hurry! Take your brother and don't look back…'_

Sam_._

'_What about mommy?'_

His mother.

'_Now, Dean! Don't look back...'_

The fire.

'_Sammy!'_

No.

No.

_No._

Dean opened his eyes and shoved Cas away from him, pushing him back against the driver side window with force. Cas' eyes were filled with tears. "Dean...?"

"NO!" Dean shouted, causing Cas to shrink back in his seat. "No…" he said quietly, brokenly. Tears ran down his face, his body overcome with an intense ache as he clutched at his chest, at the dark hole that threatened to consume him.

A dark hole that could never be filled.

_Sammy. _

A dark hole that could never be filled.

He suddenly yanked the passenger door open and shot out of the car. He bolted, running away from Cas, from his concern. He _didn't _need it. He _didn't _deserve it. He was a _killer._ He didn't deserve Cas. He didn't deserve anything.

Only hate and pain.

_'...c'mon Dean, I want to hear you say it.'_

Only pain.

'_I-I'm worthless...'_

Only pain.

_'...I m-mean nothing.'_

He deserved to die.

"Dean!"

Dean was gone.

* * *

**TBC**

A/N: I really hope you guys liked the chapter! Let me know what you thought about it!


	16. Chapter 16

Woohoo, another chapter! Sorry for any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes! And thank you all for the kind reviews!

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing Supernatural related!

Hope you all enjoy it!

* * *

**WHERE THERE'S A WILL (Ch. 16)**

Dean ran. He ran until he couldn't breathe, he ran until he couldn't think. He ran until all he could hear was the sound of his father's voice, blaming him, condemning him. He ran until he thought his heart would give out. He ran all the way back to his house.

To his room.

To his knife.

He'd stopped carrying the knife with him, feeling like he didn't need it any more. He had Cas.

He _had _Cas.

_Cas._

Once he made it to his room, he reached under his mattress where he had been stowing it. He stared at the knife.

Rolled up his sleeve.

And began to cut.

* * *

Cas was still sitting in his car, stunned by Dean's sudden action. Dean had looked so…

Devastated.

His neck. It looked like he had been strangled. The perfect outline of a hand on his soft skin.

And his stomach. Oh, God, his _stomach. _

Cas suddenly felt sick. He yanked open his car door and retched onto the driveway.

How. _How_ could anybody hurt _Dean?_ Shy, kind, polite, _Dean?_

_Dean._

Cas sat back in the driver seat, slamming the door shut and reached over to close the passenger door too before peeling out of the driveway.

He had to find Dean.

* * *

Cas' first thought was to go to Dean's house. Sure, Dean could have run off and gone _anywhere,_ but Cas had a strong feeling that he needed to check there first.

When he pulled up in front of Dean's house, he was surprised to see the door wide open. He jumped out of the still running Mazda, and ran up to the front door, peering in to the dimly lit house.

"Dean?"

He became absolutely still, straining his ears, feeling desperate, the need to find Dean suddenly urgent.

A small sound upstairs.

_Dean._

Cas ran up the stairs, taking two at a time. When he stopped at the top of the stairs, he heard the noise again, coming from down the hall. He turned and practically ran down the hallway until he noticed one of the doors slightly opened. He stood in front of it, suddenly afraid of what he might see. "Dean?" He pushed it open the rest of the way.

"Dean!"

Dean was sitting on the floor of his bedroom, slicing deeply into his arm. His eyes were bloodshot, glassy, unfocused. He didn't even seem to notice Cas in the room. There was blood, a lot of blood, _Dean's _blood, running steadily down his arm. Cas ran over to him and reached for the knife.

"Dean! Dean, stop!"

Dean's grip was strong, unyielding.

"Dean, _give me the knife_!"

Dean was incoherent, mumbling to himself while he rocked back and forth, still clutching the knife. "I can be good, I can be good. Gonna make it better, gonna make it better. Sammy. _My Sammy._"

"Dammit, Dean. GIVE ME THE KNIFE!" Cas was steadily reaching hysteria, tears stinging in his eyes as he wrestled with Dean for the knife, Dean's blood slick and unsettling, coating the knife, making it impossible to grasp.

Dean finally gawked at Cas, looking surprised to see him there. The surprise in his eyes was almost instantly overcome with misery. "Leave me. P-please, j-just go…p-please." Dean was sobbing. "I just w-want to see Sammy again. Sammy, Sammy, _My Sammy._"

"Dean, snap out of it! Dean! Please, just _give me the knife_!" Dean was beyond reason.

Cas continued to fight for the knife, pulling and pushing until he had Dean pressed up against the wall, Cas' weight pinning him there, trying his best not to hurt the hunter as he struggled to get the blood slick knife out of Dean's hand. Dean just would not let go. Tears of frustration, of desperation clouded Cas' vision.

"Dean…_please._" Dean was losing too much blood. He had to break through to him, had to make him stop. Two blood drenched hands shot up and cradled Dean's face. _Dammit, Dean._ Cas crushed his lips against Dean's, trying to make him see, trying to get him to stop. Fear coursed through Cas' veins as he poured his heart into the kiss. He felt Dean still under his grip. Cas broke away from the kiss, gasping, eyes bright with tears as he stared at the hunter. Time seemed to stop, only the sound of his ragged breathing could be heard in the sudden quiet of the room.

"C-Cas?"

"Dean," Cas could almost cry with relief. He eyed the knife in Dean's hand. He looked back up at Dean. "Please, _give me the knife._"

"N-no, no." Broken, so broken.

"Dean." _Please._

Dean continued to stare at Cas with pain filled eyes. He slowly turned his head away from Cas as he let the knife fall from his hand and onto the floor. Cas kicked it away from them and held Dean close. "C-Cas…C-Cas," Dean sobbed. Cas held him tighter."It's okay, it's okay. I'm here Dean. I'm here." He could feel Dean's hot tears on his neck, he could feel his heart against his own chest as it hammered forcefully. Dean was alive. "_God_, Dean." Cas rubbed soothing circles on Dean's back. He was alive.

After a minute, Cas suddenly remembered Dean's cuts. _Dean. _He stepped back a little to get a better look at the hunter. Blood was everywhere, still pouring out of the cuts on Dean's arm. Cas tried to keep his voice calm. "Dean…Dean, we need to take you to a hospital."

Dean began to panic. He tried to break out of Cas' hold. "N-no, no! Cas...C-Cas, p-please..." Dean began to cry harder.

Cas felt his heart break. "_Dean. _You're bleeding badly. You probably need stitches." _How much blood has Dean lost? "_Maybe...maybe even more than that." Dean continued to frantically try to get away from Cas' grip. By the way Dean struggled, Cas knew he wouldn't be able to get the teen anywhere.

"Okay, okay. Shh. It's okay." Cas thought quickly. "Where's your bathroom?"

"D-down the hall… you had to pass by it to g-get to my r-room," Dean muffled into Cas' tear and blood soaked shirt. "How did y-you get in here?" Dean looked up into Cas' eyes.

"Doesn't matter. Come on." Cas wrapped an arm around Dean's slender waist as they slowly made their way to the bathroom, Dean leaning heavily on him the entire way.

Once inside, Cas immediately set to work. He gently pulled Dean's bloody sweater off of him, trying his best to avoid looking at the dark bruise and numerous cuts that completely coated his torso. He sat the hunter down on the bathroom floor so that he was propped up against the sink cabinet. He ran hot water in the sink while he searched for towels. The first towel he grabbed he pressed down firmly on the deep, angry cuts of Dean's arm. "I need to you hold this. C'mon Dean, press." Dean silently obeyed. Cas held another towel under the hot water and waited until it was completely soaked before turning back to Dean. He met Dean's eyes for a second. He looked so…lost. So…defeated. Cas swallowed as he lightly began to wash off the blood from his face from when he had kissed him. He felt Dean's eyes on him as he worked silently, gently wiping at his cheek before wetting the towel again and wiping his chin. Cas looked down at the towel that was being held on Dean's arm. He slowly pulled it away to see if the bleeding had stopped. It hadn't, but by the look of it, it would soon. Dean hadn't cut as deeply as Cas had thought. He replaced the towel and leaned back on his heels.

He stared into Dean's eyes for a long moment. _I can't let him stay here._ "C'mon, Dean." He leaned forward to help Dean stand and then slowly guided him out of the bathroom and down the stairs. When they reached the Mazda, he sat him down gently in the passenger seat. "Cas?" Cas fastened Dean's seat belt for him. "You're coming home with me. I'm not letting you stay here tonight." He still didn't know for sure who was hurting Dean, but he had a pretty good idea. Dean simply nodded his head, too tired to protest. He vaguely wondered if John would be home that night and what would happen if he found out he wasn't there. Cas turned away to go back into the house.

By the time he returned with Dean's backpack and a change of clothes, the hunter was fast asleep. Cas slid into the driver seat and began driving back toward his house. As he drove, tears slid silently down his face.

_Dean._

Cas had to fix this.

* * *

Once they reached Cas' house, the dark-haired teen led Dean up the stairs and into his bathroom where he laid him down carefully on the floor, Dean barely conscious. Dean still had a lot of blood on him and needed to get cleaned up. Cas ran warm water in the bathtub before running into his room to get something for Dean to sleep in.

When Cas returned, he shut off the water and began to carefully take off the rest of Dean's clothes. Dean didn't move. Cas picked him up once he was fully undressed and gently sat him down in the warm water. He grabbed a face towel and some soap before he slowly, delicately washed Dean's skin. The sudsy water began to turn pink. As the blood was slowly washed away, Cas could now see faint scars all over Dean's body. _How could anybody _do _this? _Tears streamed down his face as he washed over the arm Dean had cut. It had stopped bleeding some time during the ride over. _Why Dean? Why?_

Once Dean was clean, Cas gingerly picked him up and placed him in his lap as he quickly dried him. He slipped on some of the clothes that he had grabbed for Dean, an oversized t-shirt and sweat pants, and carried him into his bedroom. He placed him in the center of his bed and pulled the quilt up over him. He ran a hand lightly through Dean's hair before leaning down to place a soft kiss on Dean's forhead.

_What am I going to do?_

* * *

**TBC**

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! As always, let me know what you thought of it!


	17. Chapter 17

I'm still alive! I know it has been a long time since I've updated, but these past few weeks have been crazy with finals, moving all my things out of the dorm and such. And like I mentioned at the beginning of the other fic that I've started, when I finally sat down to write this chapter I had this HUGE writer's block! So friggin inconvenient and I'm soooo sorry. Hopefully the updates will be more consistent now though.

Now, on to chapter 17! Hope you all enjoy it!

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing Supernatural related!

* * *

**WHERE THERE'S A WILL (Ch. 17)**

After Cas was sure that Dean would be okay in his bedroom by himself, he went to get cleaned up as well since a lot of Dean's blood had gotten on his clothes and skin. As he stood under the hot water of the shower, he couldn't stop thinking about the green-eyed teen. What should he do? He felt the obvious choice was to tell Michael and then get Dean removed from his father's care.

But what would become of Dean?

He finished the rest of his shower while feelings of despair tugged heavily at his heart.

By the time Michael came home later that evening, Cas was sitting in the kitchen still mulling over what he should do.

"Hey, Cas. How was your day?" The sound of Michaels voice broke Cas out of his thoughts. He looked up at his brother and shrugged.

Michael paused at his brother's response. Cas was usually more talkative than that, eager to share his day. He noticed that Cas was dressed for bed. "You tired kiddo? It's kind of early for bed." Another shrug from Cas. Now Michael was concerned. "Hey, you feeling okay?" He moved closer so he could slip a hand over Cas' forehead. The forlorn teen barely moved. "Cas?"

"I'm fine. Just kind of tired." Cas got up from his chair. "I think I'm just going to go to bed. Long day."

"Okay…" Michael studied his little brother for a second. "Do you want something to eat first? I could make you soup if you'd like…?" Cas just shook his head as he shuffled out of the kitchen.

When he made it back to his bedroom, he slowly opened the door and slipped inside, closing it behind him softly. Being fall time, the sky was already dark and the moon was shining brightly, casting the room in an otherworldly glow. Dean was still sleeping in the same spot Cas had left him in. He walked over to the side of his bed and lifted the heavy quilt as he slid underneath its warmth. He reached over until he had his arms around Dean before gently pulling him closer so that Dean's head rested on his chest. Dean sighed in his sleep and scooted even closer, bringing his arm to rest over Cas' stomach. In spite of all that had happened that day, Cas smiled.

He could feel Dean's warm breath through the thin cotton of his sleep shirt. He ran his hand lazily through the hunter's short hair. He felt Dean grip him tighter.

"I'm here Dean, I'm here. Everything will be okay," Cas whispered into the darkness of his room.

_You have me Dean. You'll always have me._

* * *

It was early the next morning when Dean awoke. He felt…_good._ Something incredibly warm seemed to be all around him. The warmth reminded him of Cas. He slowly opened his eyes. _Where am I?_ The furniture and paint color looked oddly familiar, but he couldn't quite remember where he was or how he got there. He shifted slightly and realized the warmth was coming from beneath him. Warm breath tickled over his face and he looked up into startling blue eyes.

Cas.

He was in Cas' bedroom.

Cas' bedroom.

How did he…

Images of what happened the day before flooded into his mind. He winced at the memory.

"Dean? Dean, are you okay?" Cas was immediately on alert as soon as he saw Dean wince. His voice was low and concerned.

Dean simply nodded his head and began to sit up on the bed. Looking down, he noticed that he wasn't in the same clothes that he had worn the day before. He blushed deeply and looked away.

"Um…there was a lot of blood. I just…you were so out of it. I didn't…it wasn't…like that." Cas bit his lip anxiously.

"It's fine. T-thank you," Dean whispered, still feeling slightly embarrassed that Cas had…well he'd rather not think about it. But he trusted Cas and knew he wouldn't do anything to hurt him. He was just glad that Cas was even still there for him. After all of the chaos of the day before, he wouldn't have been surprised if Cas wanted to stay as far away from him as possible.

But Cas had always been like that: amazing.

Dean contemplated this as he ran a hand over the bandage that covered the deep scars on his arm. He startled a bit when he felt a warm hand over his. The blue eyes that peered into his were grave and filled with sadness. "You really scared me yesterday," Cas barely spoke above a whisper. "What if I didn't get there in time? What if something happened to you?" Cas reached forward to hold Dean close to him, rubbing his hands down his back and through his light colored hair.

"I know. I-I'm sorry." Dean sagged as felt himself being weighed down by unbearable guilt.

And shame.

Dean felt a soft hand on his neck. "Who _did_ this to you?" Cas saw no reason to beat around the bush. He felt he could accurately guess who Dean's abuser was, but needed to hear Dean say it. Dean fidgeted uncomfortably in Cas embrace.

"It's your dad, isn't it?" Cas got no verbal response but could feel the tightening of the muscles in Dean's back. "You can't go back there. I need…we have to tell somebody." _I won't let him hurt you again._

Dean broke away from Cas' warmth. This wasn't supposed to happen. Dean felt himself begin to panic. "N-no, no, please Cas. I-it's fine, really."

Cas looked at Dean incredulously. "Dean, you can't be serious. What he did to you..." He reached forward to gently lift Dean's t-shirt, exposing his scarred abdomen. "_Look_ at what he did to you…you don't deserve that Dean. No one does." His other hand touched his bandaged arm. Cas' voice almost became inaudible. "And look at what you did to yourself."

Dean felt shame burn through him. "Y-you don't understand…p-please don't, don't say anything. Please Cas. Please." Green eyes turned pleading.

"Do you even know what you are asking me to do? Just pretend that everything that happened yesterday…didn't?" Cas felt anger well up inside of him. Dean couldn't be serious.

Dean began to shrink away from Cas, sensing his irritation. "C-Cas…"

"Has he messed you up so badly that you can't even see how _wrong_ this is? Do you even have any idea what ran through my mind when I saw you on the floor CUTTING yourself? When I saw the cuts on your stomach?" Cas knew he was going a bit too far, but he had to make Dean see, make him understand. Didn't he know how much he meant to him? Dean looked down at his hands. "LOOK at me Dean!" He grabbed Dean's face in both of his hands, blue eyes seeming to pierce right through Dean's soul.

Cas could feel Dean shaking and suddenly realized just how terrified Dean was. His eyes were large on his pale face, darting around the room as if to find an escape. "P-please, Cas. Don't hurt…I'm sorry, please…"

_Dammit. _"God, Dean. No, no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He held Dean close to him and felt his back tremble as he was overcome with tears. "Shh, Dean. It's okay. I was just upset. I would _never_ hurt you, okay?"

"I have to go back to my d-dad Cas. I can't just…please Cas..."

A light rapping on Cas' bedroom door made both of them freeze. "Cas? Is everything okay in there kiddo? Sounded like you were crying just now."

Michael.

Cas spared a glance at Dean, and instantly wished he hadn't. Dean's eyes were swollen and red with fresh tears brimming over the lids. His eyes silently pleaded with Cas.

_Please._

"Everything's fine. I…had a nightmare." _No, no, no. This is wrong. I need to tell Michael. Dean isn't safe at his house._

"You sure?"

'_I have to go back to my d-dad Cas. I can't just…please Cas'_

_Dammit, Dean._ "Yeah. I'm fine."

"Alright. Well, just wanted to tell you that I have to leave early today. So I'll see you this evening, okay?"

"Yeah, okay. See…see you this evening." Cas waited until he heard Michael walk away before he looked down at Dean again. "Dean…"

"Thank you Cas…for n-not saying anything. Thank you." Relief was heavily present in Dean's tone.

Cas pinched the bridge of his nose. "Don't thank me. I can't believe…I should have said something. I have to tell him." Cas raises from the bed to go after his brother. He has to make this right. He can't let Dean continue being abused.

Or let him keep abusing himself.

A cold, firm grip around his wrist stops Cas in his tracks.

"No. No, Cas. Don't." Dean can feel his heart in his throat.

"Dean…"

"If you tell him…I won't…talk to you. I won't see you anymore." As much as it deeply hurt Dean to say this, he knew it was the only thing that could possibly stop Cas from telling his brother.

The hurt look in Cas' eyes is devastating. "Dean…you…you don't mean that."

Dean can't bring himself to say anything else. He just stares back at Cas solemnly.

Cas clamps his eyes shut as his heart clenches painfully in his chest. _Why, Dean?_

The room is quiet for so long that Dean thinks Cas will still tell after all. He looks down at his hands, defeated.

"Okay."

"W-what?" Dean looks up and feels himself crumble a little at the dead look in Cas' eyes. "Cas…?"

"Okay," Cas repeats, his voice tired, his shoulders hunched.

"I won't tell anybody."

* * *

**TBC**

**A/N:** Cas! Nooooo! D: Well I hope you enjoyed the chapter, it was soooo hard for me to write for some reason! I know it was pretty short, but this was literally all that I could squeeze out of my brain and the thought of waiting another day to update was killing me softly. Let me know what you thought about it!


	18. Chapter 18

Finally! Another chapter! I am soooooooo sorry for the long wait for this one :( forgive me!

Sorry in advance for any grammar/spelling mistakes!

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing Supernatural related!

* * *

**WHERE THERE'S A WILL (Ch.18)**

_"I won't tell anybody."_

The words came out of Cas' mouth, but he couldn't believe he actually said them. He'd been sitting in the hall outside of his bedroom for the last ten minutes trying to make sense of what had just happened while Dean got dressed. A cool rush of air fanned across his face as the door to his room opened.

Cas didn't look up.

Dean shuffled awkwardly from foot to foot as he timidly looked down at the nest of black hair.

"C-Cas?"

Cas sighed heavily as he rose to his feet. He still wouldn't meet Dean's eyes. "If this is going to work, some things will have to change," Cas said suddenly without warning. "From now on, I pick you up in the mornings before school, and drop you off in the afternoons. And I'll need to see you…on the weekends. Just…" Cas' voice broke. He started again, his voice low, "…just to know that you're okay."

Dean nodded his head slowly, but it didn't matter. Cas didn't look up as he walked past him to grab his keys from his desk inside his room. He shut the door behind him as he came back out of his room, pausing for a second in front of Dean as he gently took his hand and led him out of the house to the shiny Mazda.

Dean leaned his head against the window on the passenger side and glanced up at the partly cloudy sky. Occasionally he would look over toward Cas who appeared to be lost in thought, his jaw tense and his eyes stormy. Cas still hadn't let go of his hand. Dean found the soft warmth comforting.

When the school whizzed past Dean's line of sight, he quickly turned to Cas. "We just passed the s-school."

"We aren't going to school today," Cas said, his voice low. Dean felt the grip on his hand tighten.

"Oh." That was news to Dean. "Um…where are w-we going?"

"The park," Cas said resolutely, effectively ending the conversation.

_The park?_

* * *

When they arrived at the local park, Cas squeezed Dean's hand quickly before letting go to get out of the car. The hunter stumbled out immediately after, stepping out into the mid-fall weather. Cas took Dean's hand in his again before leading him toward a walking trail that was shaded by the red, gold and green leafed trees. Dean smiled to himself as memories from their hike together flashed in his mind. Stealing a quick glance at Cas he realized the dark-haired teen had been staring at him, a small smile on his face.

Maybe Cas was remembering, too.

They passed a small playground where three small children played loudly together, their mothers gossiping enthusiastically amongst themselves . Excluding them and an elderly couple strolling peacefully together, the park was deserted. When the trees broke away to reveal a large, grassy field, Cas stopped them before turning to walk into the waving sea of chartreuse, burnt gold and olive.

When grass and sky and wind seemed to be all around them, Cas gently pulled Dean down to lay in the crinkly grass with him. As the slightly chilly air blew around them, Dean shivered in his light jacket. In his haste to get Dean back to his house, Cas grabbed the first bit of clothes he could find, thus the inappropriately light jacket. Well, come to think of it, Cas had never seen Dean wear any other jacket. Cas scooted closer to the hunter, his arm laying across Dean's chest, his face buried in his neck. Dean shivered again when the cold tip of Cas' nose nestled against his neck. "Sorry," Cas mumbled against his skin, his warm breath like a caress. Dean wrapped his arms around the slender teen, his left hand coming to rest in the tousled nest of black hair. He stroked his hand through it softly.

Neither of them said anything when hot moisture began to collect on the crook of Dean's neck.

There was nothing left to say.

* * *

It was a little past noon when they finally left the park in search of lunch. They settled on a small cafe on the outskirts of town to avoid running into anyone that knew them. The waitress eyed them suspiciously as she took their order, but thankfully didn't say anything. Cas was uncommonly quiet as they sat at the small table. When their food came, he barely ate any of his, choosing instead to stare broodingly out the window. The clouds overhead were darker and the wind was picking up, promising rain.

Cas' eyes were steely as he peered up at the sky. Dean ate his meal in silence.

It was early evening when Cas reluctantly drove up to Dean's house to drop him off. For the second time that day, he wouldn't meet Dean's eyes. His hands were clenched tightly on the steering wheel, his jaw tense once again. Dean said nothing as he got out of the car. He reached to grab his bag when a warm hand suddenly wrapped around his wrist.

"Dean." Pleading. Desperate.

Dean looked back into the car and was met by familiar, startling blue eyes that were filled with frustration.

And something else.

Fear.

When Dean finally found his voice, it sounded hollow. "I'll see you t-tomorrow."

Cas quickly turned away, his hands resuming their death grip on the steering wheel. As soon as Dean was in his house, he heard the squeal of Cas' tires as he sped away.

Now he just had to wait for John to get home.

* * *

**TBC**

**A/N: **So, I know this chapter is craaazy short, but I felt really bad about the huge delay :( I seem to be in a bit of a rut lately and these last few chapters were hard for me to write. But like I said before, I am committed to this story, so even if there is another huge break between chapters, don't worry! I haven't given up ;)


	19. Chapter 19

What's this, another chapter? Finally! But…

WHERE THE HECK HAVE I _BEEN_?

Nowhere! I've been surprisingly unmotivated to update this for the. longest. time. The past few weeks though, this has been really scratching at my brain and I am FINALLY UPDATING.

Like, whoa.

I AM SORRY for all of the people that have been waiting for this! A huuuuuuge thank you to everyone that reviewed and added it (and me :D) to their favorites! It means sooo much. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

**Disclaimer:** Blah blah, don't own Supernatural, blah blahh.

Now, on with the story!

* * *

**WHERE THERE'S A WILL (Ch. 19)**

From the previous chapter...

_It was early evening when Cas reluctantly drove up to Dean's house to drop him off. For the second time that day, he wouldn't meet Dean's eyes. His hands were clenched tightly on the steering wheel, his jaw tense once again. Dean said nothing as he got out of the car. He reached to grab his bag when a warm hand suddenly wrapped around his wrist._

_"Dean." Pleading. Desperate._

_Dean looked back into the car and was met by familiar, startling blue eyes that were filled with frustration._

_And something else._

_Fear._

_When Dean finally found his voice, it sounded hollow. "I'll see you t-tomorrow."_

_Cas quickly turned away, his hands resuming their death grip on the steering wheel. As soon as Dean was in his house, he heard the squeal of Cas' tires as he sped away._

_Now he just had to wait for John to get home._

* * *

Cas drove blindly, recklessly, all the while fighting the urge to drive back, to get Dean and never look back. How could he just _leave_ him there? "Dammit!" Cas shouted, punching the steering wheel. He wrenched the car to the right and slammed on the breaks. His heartbeat was loud in his ear, hammering at his resolve. The sky swirled gloomily overhead, the light sound of falling rain slowly inhabiting the quiet of the car.

He clamped his eyes shut, his jaw tightly clenched as he fought to stay where he was.

Dean walked further into the dark house and sat on the threadbare couch, resisting the urge to hide in his room.

He knew that wouldn't work anyway.

The house was eerily quiet, the silence deafening; only the soft murmur of rain could be heard above the stillness.

He clamped his eyes shut, his jaw tightly clenched as he fought to stay where he was.

Suddenly, a loud clap of thunder rang from the heavens, snarling over the earth, overwhelming and unsettling, a knob turning, a door opening.

Cas jumped in his seat, startled by the sudden sound, the soft hush of rain quickly turning into a thunderous downpour.

The torrential downpour was loud in Dean's ears as he looked up into the dark eyes of his father.

* * *

Dean cowered back into the lumpy couch cushions, unconsciously trying to become smaller, to become invisible. John leaped forward, yanking him up by his shirt only to strike him down with his fist.

No words.

No questions.

Only blind rage.

Kick after kick, relentless and unforgiving, tore into Dean's sides, leaving him breathless. Dean turned and vomited, tears stinging in his eyes.

No sound.

No screams.

Just the steady sound of rain, the rumbling boom of thunder, the silent fall of tears.

His face was quickly mashed into his own vomit, suffocating and sickening, his nose a sudden onslaught of pain. When he breathed, he inhaled it, coating his face, stinging his eyes, mixing with his blood.

He exclaimed weakly as he was pulled upright again, quickly shoved back into the staircase, the pain rippling down his spine with sickening electricity, bright spots dancing in front of his eyes.

Before he even realized it, he was outside, the rain rushing down in sheets, cold and greedy, stealing his warmth, leaving him bare. He was dragged by his arm, his ribs protesting, until he was near the old oak tree that grew close to the broken down shed in the backyard. He was shoved up against the tree as John disappeared into the shed, quickly returning with a long wooden stake and a thick rope. He pounded it into the ground, his hammering booming in time with the thunder as if he were some Greek god, as if he could create thunder with his hands, as if he could yield lightening from his eyes. Dean was jerked from where he stood hunched over and was pushed down into the ground directly in front of the stake, the vibrations from greeting the ground so forcefully thrumming up each of his ribs, the pain emanating from his very core. The rope was thrown around him hastily and yanked back, cutting across his ribs, making him hiss. It was tightened even further until he was securely tied to the stake, his fingers already going numb from the icy rain.

The hot breath that was suddenly in his ear made his insides twist. "Since you don't want to stay in my house," John whispered darkly, yanking Dean's face impossibly closer, "since you don't want to stay in my house," he repeated, "you can sit your bony ass in my yard like the worthless _piece. of. shit._ that you are." He let go of Dean's face with a push and straightened until he was fully standing. Dean squinted up, the rain falling in his eyes as he barely made out John's shadowy figure in the growing darkness.

"Consider this being grounded." Lightening struck and in the sudden flash of light, Dean could make out the demented smile that creased John's face in odd places. Dean shivered, the light receding, the darkness encasing.

And then John was gone.

* * *

Cas looked out as best as he could through the heavy rain, trying to figure out where he was. He turned on the high beams. As lightening flashed overhead, a deep sadness fell over Cas.

_I wonder if Dean is okay._

Finally recognizing where he was, he turned back out into the street and slowly, this time, headed for home.

* * *

**TBC**

**A/N:** So I know this was crazy short, but I wanted to hurry and _finally _update, I'm really trying to get back in the game! Let me know what you thought of the chapter!


	20. Chapter 20

Hello! An update?! Whooooa lol

Thaannnnk you, thaaank you to all who left me messages and reviews, and to all who favorited, etc. Thank you! A short chapter, but I hope you all like it nonetheless :D

Apologizing in advance for any spelling or grammar mistakes! There are probably a lot of mistakes in this chapter since it has been a while since I've written anything. I hope the flow is okay.

Enjoy!

* * *

**WHERE THERE'S A WILL Ch. 20**

Cas was sitting in his car in front of Dean's house. The rain had let up, allowing him to finally make his way through the murky night and down the familiar streets that led to Dean. Although Dean's house had never been a particularly cheery place to be, the ominous vibes that emanated from it made Cas uneasy. He noticed a black Impala in the driveway.

No lights were on. The street was quiet.

Cas slowly unbuckled his seat belt, the sense of urgency being lost now that he'd reached his destination.

He was standing at the sidewalk in front of Dean's house wondering if he should knock when he heard a small noise, like a kitten crying. It was unsettling for some reason, causing goose bumps to rise on Cas' skin.

He followed the sound to the side of Dean's house and stopped in front of the worn fence that separated him from Dean's backyard. Unthinkingly, he reached for the gate and was surprised to find it unlocked.

It was very dark. He could barely make out a large tree and what was perhaps a shed in the far corner of the yard. Cas reached for his cell phone to use as a flashlight. As he slowly held out his phone to scan the yard he saw a dark figure hunched over and shaking. He nearly dropped his phone from shock.

And then he heard the noise again. It wasn't a kitten…it was…

Dean?

"Dean? Is…is that you?" Cas' heart was hammering in his chest as he slowly approached the figure, the small light coming from his phone barely helping him to see. The figure slowly moved, his face turning up at the sound of Cas' voice.

Green eyes.

"Dean!"

Cas ran toward him, slipping on the slick grass and mud and landing hard on his knees directly in front of Dean. "Dean, what happened? Can you hear me?" There appeared to be mud or something dark dripping down from his head and over one side of his face; he was soaking wet and shivering as he looked into Cas' eyes.

"Why are you outside? C'mon, let's get you to my car." Cas said as he reached to help Dean to his feet. Dean hissed loudly at the contact and it was then that Cas noticed something rough wrapped around Dean's waist.

"What the hell? What…" Cas' brain felt slow and sluggish as he tried to take the new information in. Rope? Cas' heartbeat was pounding loudly in his ears as the realization hit him. He fought to keep his voice steady and calm. "Dean? It's okay, alright? Everything is okay. I'm going to untie you now, okay? Just stay with me, Dean. I'm going to get you out of this." Cas voice sounded strange in his own ears as he gently worked to remove the rope. It took some time, but finally the rope gave away and fell heavily to the ground. No longer being held up by the rope, Dean swayed forward toward Cas, his head landing on Cas' shoulder with a sigh. Dean was so cold. Cas ran a hand over Dean's back. Dean felt so small beneath his hands. They slowly stood, Cas supporting most of Dean's weight. Dean made a strangled noise. "It's okay, it's okay. I'm going to get you some help, okay, Dean?" Cas said softly into the damp air.

As quickly as he could, Cas led Dean back to his car, laying him gingerly across the back seat. The light in his car allowed Cas to get his first good look at Dean. It wasn't mud that was on his face. It was blood. His shirt was torn and his golden skin was pale under the soft car light. There were so many bruises and cuts; his bottom lip was swollen. Dean's eyes were closed, his expression slightly pained. His breath came in soft pants.

Cas' hands trembled has he quickly slipped into the driver's seat, chancing a hurried look at Dean one last time before starting the car and speeding away toward the hospital.

* * *

Everything was a blur. Dean was whisked away almost as soon as Cas arrived at the E.R. He called his brother Michael as soon as he got the chance to sit and catch his breath. When Michael finally made it to the hospital, Cas was a wreck. He clung to his brother, a mixture of snot, tears, and saliva running down his face and ruining Michael's shirt. All Cas felt was overwhelming guilt as he explained everything that had happened.

What if Dean had died? How could he have let this go on for so long without getting Dean help? What kind of person did that make him?

It was nearly two o'clock in the morning before they were finally allowed to see Dean.

Endless wires and tubes. Dean looked small as he slept in the large hospital bed. Cas' breath caught in his throat as he crossed the room to Dean's bedside. Michael stood outside the room talking quietly with the doctor. Rope, bruises, cuts, stitches, broken bones, blood, hospitals. It was all too much.

Everything was just too much.

* * *

**A/N** I hope this chapter was okay. I know it's really short...I tried to keep the tone consistent with the rest of the story...it's been so long since I've looked at this. I'll admit, it was really hard for me to get back into writing this. Sorry for the long hiatus :( Please let me know what you thought of the chapter :)


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